Life after Fullmetal Alchemist [FMA Oneshots]

-Mustang the Harasser

Just another normal day in the Rockbell household. Winry working on some automail, Pinako outside walking with Den, Alphonse reading some alchemy books, and Ed... Well...

~

"Yo, Fullmetal."

"Colonel?! What are you doing here?" Ed exclaimed. "How did you get in?"

"What do you mean? A close friend can't check on you? And here I am actually worried about you. So? Are you okay?" Mustang asks seriously.

"No, I mean... What are you doing in OUR FREAKIN' BATHROOM?! I'M TAKING A BATHRIGHTNOW, YOU KNOW!" Ed shouted, as he stood in the bathtub and swiftly put a towel around his waist. "This is the first decent bath I've had ever since I can remember, and you ruin it.Dammit Colonel!"

"So I can't visit you after all?" Mustang said, squinting his eyes.

"N-no, you can, but couldn't you do it in a more... appropriate place? Or at least wait until I'm done... Can't I take a bath in peace?"

Mustang glared. "What do you mean?! This is the most appropriate place for a heartwarming reunion."

Ed gritted his teeth. "Shut up!!! Geez... At least visit me normally!"

"Why can your brother join you in the bath and not me? That's unfair, Fullmetal."

"WE DON'T DO THAT TOGETHER ANYMORE, YOU HARASSER!"

"Anyway, I came here to tell you something." Mustang says, ignoring Ed.

"Ignoring me?! Oi, y-you're actually serious about this...? Talking here? In the bathroom?" Ed frowned, still unable to believe the Colonel's ways. He let out a stressed sigh.

"I'm not going to be the Fuhrer. Yet..."

"Figures. It's still too early for you, huh, Colonel?" Ed smirked. "So? Who's the new Fuhrer?"

"Fuhrer Grumman." Mustang looked up. "But when he's done with his rule... I'm sure... I'll be..."

Ed gulped. "Be..?"

"BE ABLE TO SEE THE DAY THAT ALL FEMALE OFFICERS' UNIFORM WILL BE TINY MINISKIRTS!"

...

(awkward silence)

"No, what was I thinking?! I was wrong for thinking that he's serious now and that he'd make a great Fuhrer. Deep down the Colonel is just an old perverted man." Ed whispered as he made a facepalm.

"Don't say such things like that, Fullmetal! I'm sure you'll look good in a miniskirt too!"

"WH-WHAT THE HECK?!?!" Ed stepped out of the bathtub, enraged.

"Now, now. We're in a bathroom, Ed. Is that any way to act in a bathroom?"

"I should be saying that to you, useless flame alchemist! Don't act all nice!"

"...Wh-what do you mean by that?! I'll show you!"

"It means what it means, Colonel."

"Is that so? Then..." Mustang grabs hold of the towel around Ed's waist and raises it in the air. "Ha! What do you think about that, huh, Fullmetal?"

"L-L-L-L-L-L-L--!" Ed felt his heart fall down to the floor when he saw something. He pointed towards the door with a grim expression on his face.

"Huhh? What is it?" Mustang turned around.

"Oh my. I'm terribly sorry I had to see that, Edward-kun." Lieutenant Hawkeye cracked her knucles. "Now... What do we have to do with you... Sir?"

Mustang, now frozen, mimicked Ed and pointed out his finger too. "L-L-L-L-L-L-L-Lieutenant Haw-Hawk-"

"You're coming with me, child molester." Hawkeye dragged Mustang by his collar. "Oh and Edward-kun? I'm sorry for letting you put up with the Colonel. Don't worry. You won't be threatened by him again."

Ed blushed and fidgeted as he quickly covered his lower body with the towel. "N-no, the thing is-"

"Then, we're off. Thanks and see you, Edward-kun." Hawkeye smiled.

"H-HELP ME...!" Mustang cries out while choking a little, his body unable to

move.

The door slammed shut, leaving Ed alone in the bathroom, and later muffled sounds could be heard outside coming from the colonel.

Ed blinked. "What was that?"

~ fin ~

A/N: such a fabulous entrance by Mustang~ (as seen in the multimedia) xD