Rendezvous

forty-three | second chances

Part IV - Second Chances

"Mommy?" I see a little boy call out from the doorway making my mother practically leaped from her seat.

I give Lana a distressed look as I felt a combination of anxiety, fear, and rage course through me. Lana softens her eyes, as they told me to relax.

A few seconds later, Alexis murmured to the little boy and lead him outside of the living room, before she walked back to me.

"Alina," she pleads with her eyes closed, her whole body betraying her as if this was the moment she was dreading.

"How old is he?" I ask before she could say anything after swallowing the lump in my throat as I sat there unmoving.

"He's turning four next-" she says and I felt my heart fall to the pit of my stomach.

"You've got to be kidding me," I scoff, shading my rage with sarcasm as I get up from the couch. "Get up, we're leaving."

"Alina, please just let me explain!" she urges as tears ran down her face.

"Explain what?" I exclaim trying to my tears at bay. "How you got pregnant the moment I left? How you kept me in the dark completely after you built another life for yourself?"

"I've been trying to get you here for years!" she exclaims.

"Don't you fucking dare pin this on me," I say, my eyes flashing with rage. "Instead of calling me to say Merry Christmas, you could've told me! So, stop feeding me your excuses, I'm sick of them!"

"You couldn't have me around because of dad but you didn't have a problem fucking someone else, didn't you?" I say my voice full of anger.

"Alina," Lana warns softly, her hands on my forearm, making me realize that I had gone too far.

jesus christ

"No, she's right," she says, making me look up at her, shocked.

she would never admit she was wrong

She walks toward me standing in front of me, her eyes still glassy, "I know whatever I say will only sound like more excuses. I was selfish. Selfish for not telling you about him sooner, selfish for putting my needs over yours, when I shouldn't have," her voice gets caught up in her throat. "I thought that if I told you about him, you wouldn't come back. That you'd hate me more than you already do."

excuses

"I never hated you mom," I say and I see her expression soften as if it were something she doubted.

"Alina, I promise to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you," she says, causing my eyes to shift back to me hers. "You're my daughter. I don't want to lose you."

"I'd like to start over," her eyes pleading. "If possible."

"Can I meet him?" I ask, completely ignoring her request.

She wipes her tears hurriedly, "Y-yes, of course," she continues as she walks out of the living room.

I turn to Lana and rest my head on her shoulder, wanting her to tell me not to let her back in so easily but she didn't. She just held me in her arms without saying a word.

I pull away from her after I heard Alexis come back with, my half-brother?

"Honey, go say hello to the girls over there," she murmurs to him from the doorway before he shyly walks towards us.