This Is Not A Goodbye

chapter 18: tell me

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Zoe

The sun is bright this morning I'm in bed with adam and I don't even know why I mean we woke up about an hour ago

I sigh and relaxed my body as adam nuzzles in the crook of my neck when he touches me I feel so good but I don't help but wonder if he feels the same way

Men are so confusing or maybe its just me

My insecurities started when I was little my grandparents always used to compare me to my cousin

She is a bitch

Yes she is Carrie

My grandmother was a model and everything about us had to be perfect or else she will punish her

One time I was actually punished and wasn't allowed to eat for three days of course I didn't tell my mom or else she would never let me go and mama always called me a cry baby so I never said anything

I wonder how she is going though the last time I saw her was when she was praising my cousin Abby for her perfect body

Abby never got punished she was always a perfect angel good grades, nice smile,perfect voice and amazing style

Unlike Abby I just wear the first thing I see in my closet which is not a bad choice sometimes and I didn't really care but Abby made me feel really ugly because

of that one time I was in middle school I like this boy named James he was so sweet but then Abby went and asked him out and said that the only reason she ever talked to me was cause she like James too

The entire school year she teased me by hugging and sticking up to James but I didn't let her venom get to me that is until she realised and told the entire school that I ate boggers

She disgust me with that because I didn't do that

I would come home crying because kids would call me all kinds of names but then my mom and dad would comfort me so I didn't feel bad there hugs felt safe

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Adams hand slipped under my shirt and him kissing my neck

Someone woke up on the horny side of the bed

"good morning" I said before slightly moving away but he pulls me closer making my breath hitched

"morning you okay" he said now looking at me with his eyebrows furrowed

"yeah I'm fine" I said slightly nodding

"Okay" he said going back to my neck and his hand that was under my shirt now moving upwards

"I need to pee" I blurt and he looks at me in confusion before sliding his hand out and nodding

I quickly got up and walked over to the bathroom and looked in the mirror trying to get my thoughts together as they all kept flying around

What would he think

He is not like your ex boyfriend

He probably doesn't even like you

He is going to thing your horrible

My thoughts filled my mind as I heard a light knock on the bathroom door

"you okay cutie" he said and my eyes got glossy

He is going to hate me

"yeah I'm fine" I said trying not to cry

"cutie your not come on" he said and I walked out the door and he looks at me with sincerity in his eyes

"what's wrong"

"nothing" I said shrugging his question off I don't want him knowing

You're such an idiot you know that right

Tell him

No thanks Carrie

I walked away only to be pulled into a chest I slightly looked up to see Adam holding me

"what's up" he says

"nothing" I replied and he picked me up bridal style putting me on the bed gently before laying on me his heavy body locking the oxygen out of me

"Adam I can't breath" I say

"good" he said chuckling

"ill get off once you tell me" he says and I sigh

"fine" I say

"good what's up" he says and gets off me

"I'm can't do sex" I blurt and he laughs

"what do you mean you can't do it are you a virgin" he says and stops laughing with slightly widened eyes

"what no" I said and he breath out in relief

"oh thank god I don't like taking girls virginities I feel kind of guilty afterwards" he said and I let out a breathly chuckle

"so what is it" he says

"Well I was kind of glad that you're family barged in our room yesterday cause I'm not good at it Adam" I say and his eyebrows furrowed

"who told you that" he said

"my ex boyfriend he said that I was bad at it and he was unsatisfied" I said looking downwards

"cutie look at me" he said and I did

"Don't worry about what other people say okay you have an amazing body and you are probably not even bad at it" he says and I smile

"how would you know" I said teasing him

"want me to bend you over and show you" he says and I laugh

"maybe" I said sarcastically and he laughs

"don't care about what other people say got it" he says pointing a finger at me

"Yes sir" I said saluting

"don't call me that"

"why not"

"because that's what you're going to be saying when I fuck you" he says with a slight smirk on his face and I smile the tension within us growing until

Mr.salvador barges in "we have a problem" he said and Adam sighs I haven't been properly introduced to mr.salvador Adam says he is an asshole but he calls everyone that

"I'm zoe" I said and he rolls his eyes before exiting

Rude much

"dont let him scare you or feel intimated by him" he says "he's an asshole I know I know" I said finishing his sentence

"that's right" he says standing up and placing a kiss on my lips before leaving the room

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That's chapter 18

Have a nice day🤗