Breathe | Ongoing

Two | Words

"There's always that but, when we want something we can not have."
- slyymalfoy

Words
***

Juliette Grey

Can I just drown myself away with music? It seems much easier than being here.

"Where have you been?" Called my father, voice sounding nothing but the cold nights of disappointment.

I always make them disappointed. I guess it's a habit that not easy to stop, just like coffee.

My hands begin to quiver not in fear but in shame of once again for seizing to get another blow of their words. I cant even imagine there faces when they see what I'm wearing, well what Nico made me wear.

I should have just gone home, that way I'd have avoided this.

I make it to the living room, where father and mother are seated on the couch, both of their legs crossed. It's like their in the office interrogating a crime.

I'm the crime in this situation.

As expected, their nonexistent emotions look at my figure, judging and vigilantly speculating everything. They should have became spy's with their unsettling hawk eyes.

"Instead of being in bed, you are out partying?" My mother quirks an eyebrow in a way of daring me to answer the wrong way I usually do.

I take a seat, the cold leather squeaking against the newfound weight.

I stare at them with distance. Why should I give them any satisfaction of emotion, when all they've given me were cutting words. They don't deserve anything from me. I won't fall into the darkness again.

"I just wanted to have some fun with friends." I replied easily with no detection of a lie to the two.

"Studying is what you should have been doing, not with troublemakers out getting wasted. Even your sister did better."

There it is. There's what I've been waiting for. It's always my amazing sister. So perfect that I can never compare.

Michelle Grey. They must love that name so much, it makes me sick just having to hear that name over and over again.

They know I'll never be like her. I've always dreamed of being just like her when I was younger, now, not so much.

I envy her not because of how she's the center of everything but of the affection she got from father and mother. I never got those sweet little congratulant smiles or those father and mother moments. I didn't get the pat on the shoulder when father was proud or those crushing hugs when something exciting happens to you.

I didn't want the good fortunes she got from her successful accomplishments. I wanted the love I was never able to grasp into my hand. I used to long for it, I wanted possession of that warmth of a mother and safety of a father. I wanted it so badly.

Of course I don't care for such thing anymore, all I have is that cold shell that encases my heart. Holding the crippled pieces of that little girls heart.

I lower my gaze, the temperature has gone colder, numb. "Saying that doesn't change anything."

"Well then make it change, becoming one of those lunatics will ruin our name that we have built. Learn from Michelle." My mother gathers her purse bidding a goodnight to father.