Don't Want to Want You (lawlight)

Light Yagami/L Lawliet

(886 words)

"Ow," I flinched, as my mother sewed up my wounds.
"I'm sorry, honey. He's never done this before; I should've known and taken you somewhere else, I.."
"Mom, stop. I was the one who snuck out, right? I shouldn't have done that and I completely saw this coming," but that was a lie. I didn't see this coming, not in a million years. As soon as I walked into my house, my father came towards me, looked me in the eye, and whipped me across my face.

Soon after he was clawing and beating me. It'd left a large bruise on my left eye and a long bloody scratch on my right cheek. There were dark purple circles scattered across my upper body. (Only my upper body because father believes men shouldn't fight like "sissies," so only my waist and higher got hit.) The towel soaked a deep crimson as I dabbed my wounds. Ouch. My face stung, but I had to clean it to prevent an infection.

As my mother fixed me up, I couldn't help but think about that mysterious man or that.. kiss. My father would kill me if he found out I was gay. But wait.. I may be attracted to men and women. I've dated Misa Amane. She is so pretty, and I loved her so much. It was a shame that I had to break up with her.. wait why did I even break up with her? There were no "relationship issues."

Oh, right.  I told her it was because she was interrupting my studies. I lied to her. I didn't lie.. I just rearranged the truth. I only broke up with her because I wasn't attracted to HER, but that doesn't mean that I'm not attracted to any women. I'm not gay.. but if I some how were, my life would be over. But I kissed him. And I liked it. Disgusting. I even stayed at his home, though that wasn't my doing.

My phone started ringing, and it was from an unknown caller. I answer, soon after, my face goes cold. My palms get sweaty, as I identify the caller to be Ryuzaki.
"Hello, love," his raspy voice says. My face deepens into a dark rose. He continues, "I just wanted to check on you." I could hear his smile through the phone, which made me smile, subconsciously, of course.
"Hi, Ryuzaki.. I can't see you anymore."

Though it hurt to say, I needed to distance myself from this man. He was kind of like my weakness.. you could say that at least. I wanted to have him.. but I couldn't.
"Why not?" He questioned, sounding somber, which made by heart sink. There's so many reasons "why not." He just doesn't understand. I could tell, easily, by how he was discussing the topic with such ease.
"How did you get my phone number?" I asked, just now realizing that I didn't give it to him.
"I hope you don't mind, but I put your number in my syst- phone while you were sleeping." This left me staring at him. He is so ill-mannered, odd, and overly causal, yet so attractive..
"I'm not allowed to be gay," I said a little too loudly, getting quieter towards the end of the sentence.
"But you are.. for me?" I heard him whisper into the speaker. My body was on fire, my heartbeat was raising quickly.
_______________________________

I could hear his breath getting faster after I whispered that comment into my phone.
"I never said that.." TRUTH. Light mumbled, clearly flustered.
"Meet me at the cafe at 7:30 PM," I said quickly, hanging up before he could protest.

Earlier in the day..

Light had just left my house, and I continued to type away on my computer, working on a new case about a man who believed he was god. Turns out he just figured out that he could take other people's lives all by himself and started killing his neighbors.. what a nuisance.

I'm not quite sure why, but I had the urge to go after Light. I ran down my hotel's steps and started to follow the route of the cafe. I quickly spotted Light. Yes. I silently followed him, making myself as discreet as possible. He stopped in front of a large crème colored house. He was visibly nervous, and I had my suspicions for why.

He slowly opened the door, his hand shaking against the knob. A woman embraced him tightly, but moments after, a large hand smacked his face. Breath left my lungs as I gasped out of shock. He was grabbed by the collar and pulled inside of the house. I need to know, for Light. I aligned my eyes with the very corner of the window East of the home and watched in horror.

A man, who I presume to be Light's father, was going crazy on Light. I saw clawing, beating, I heard shouting. I walked in the opposite direction of the house, my face drained of all color. How could they do that to him? I mean, he was a little anxious about getting back to his house, but I hadn't expected physical and verbal abuse to be the issue. I guess he's just a talented actor..

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