My Briella | ✎ ongoing

06

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"Metanoia (n.) the journey of changing ones mind, self, or way of life."

B R I E L L A

✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿ ✿•*'¨*'•.¸✯

Going to school was never fun. It isn't for most kids at least.

I was unmotivated to talk in class. I never raised my hand to answer a question, and always ended up at the same locker.

"looking at the photo again?" I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

it was always constant teasing and a never ending war and attack. But i couldnt help but feel it was always everyone against one.

I think that's why I'm so hesitant to share everything with Lucy. Her being the school guidance councilor alone sends shivers down my spine.

She's a nice lady, maybe a friend in other's eyes. But if i ever learned one thing, it's that the chances of someone making an impulsive decision for their own good is more then likely.

I didn't want to believe it. But there is always a chance a person can switch how they act in a matter of seconds. We are all human.

We feel, cry, run, hide, and we make choices for our own good.

But in this situation i never understood how people benefited off my sadness.

I turned around with a sigh stuffing the photo into my pocket and facing the dark haired girl.

Lyrica was never always like this.

She used to be kind. Care about other peoples feelings, and hug me when i cried.

But now she has changed. Just like my father.

"Cat got your tongue?" I wanted to slap that silly smirk off her face.

I wonder if she knows she's the one who holds the knife to my chest, reminding me how messed up my life really is. Every time it repeats, that knife digs deeper into my body. At this point I'm just waiting for that knife to carve a hole into my chest, lungs, and heart. At some point its gonna peak out from the other side.

The only question was when?.

When am I going to drop dead?.
When is the pain going to stop?.
When will my body feel so numb to the knife, that it no longer sheds a layer of my heart?.

"I don't want to deal with this today Lyrica." In fact i didn't want to deal with this at all.

"It's only a joke, calm down." Out of everyone Lyrica knows it's not a joke.

She was there when my mom left. She hugged me, let me rant to her, let me cry in her shoulder, just to throw it in my face four years later.

Just because she knew things about me, doesn't mean i don't know things about her.

I know her deepest and darkest secrets, I know who she is under the makeup and expensive heels. I know her.