Loving hurts

Introduction

Every moment of life had been full of nothing but joy and happiness following me leaving Nekoma. I was lucky and got a good job as a coach for professional volleyball that kept volleyball in my life, I had a beautiful ex Oikawa fangirl who loved me enough to be my wife, and a baby on the way who I was going to give endless amounts of love for as long as I live. But just six short months before we were supposed to become a family of 3, Misa was diagnosed with cancer and her being the selfless person she was made the hard decision of refusing treatment in order to give birth to our son.

Now all I felt was sadness and pain for the person I was supposed to grow old with who lost her fight to an illness that gave her two hard choices. She could receive chemotherapy and possibly beat this, but she would lose her child as a result or refuse chemotherapy and give birth knowing that it would be too late to treat it. She made her choice and after 5 years and 7 months after

Meeting her
falling in love with her
dating her
entering a relationship with her
moving in with her
proposing to her
marrying her
having a baby with her
planning on raising a child with her
planning on growing old with her
planning on doing everything with her

I lost her

she was gone way too soon and I was completely and utterly lost without her. There was still so much more that I wanted to do with her that I'll never get the chance to do. I officially lost my wife 7 months after she gave birth to cancer, but I lost her prior to that when she was diagnosed with this world shattering disease and had lost all of her motivation to live because of it. The tears that she thought I didn't know she was shedding killed me inside, Misa tried so hard to stay strong for her family even when she was too sick to sit up or even smile at our son. The day Misa died I lost my soulmate, my best friend, and my wife all in one.

It will always kill me inside knowing that our son will never get to truly know the selfless person that is his mother.

Just 7 short months after the birth of our son whom we named Hiro, my soulmate decided she wasn't going to suffer any more and passed away leaving me heartbroken and alone at only 20 years old with a 7 month old baby, who I had to raise while figuring out how I was supposed to live the rest of my life without her.

4 months later I made the hard choice of quitting my job and possibly moving in with my good friend Kenma in Brazil.

"I'm sorry for your loss Mr. Kuroo " a reporter asked as I was exiting the airport. "Thank you, but don't you ever talk to me when I'm with my son again" I snapped coldly at her, causing her to jump a little. "You're not even a year old yet and your life is already such a shitty mess, I'm so sorry bud" I said as I clicked the car seat into the cab. The short drive to the hotel with Hiro was deafeningly quiet, I couldn't help but imagine what it would sound like if Misa was still here with us.

We reached the hotel and I checked in with the receptionist. After I found the room number I set everything up and put Hiro down in the travel crib. I sat on the couch and turned on the Tv to see a trending headline that both saddened me and made me extremely angry at the same time: We have information on Tetsuro Kuroo just 4 months after his wife Misa lost her battle to cancer, just 11 months after giving birth to the couple's son Hiro. Sources say he has flown to Brazil to grieve with family. I instantly turned off the tv and felt my phone buzz repeatedly.

The first text I saw was from Kenma,

Kenma : are you really coming
To Brazil?

Kuroo: Yeah, I felt
That a change of
Scenery was what
Was best for me and Hiro

Kenma: I just got in the
Car, I'm coming to get you😉

Kuroo: I'm staying
at (hotel name)

Kenma: I'll be there in
about an hour so be ready

I chuckled quietly to myself, typical Kenma to care so much even though we haven't seen each other since the day of my Nekoma graduation. I quickly packed the bags and bundled up my son. At 8 pm Kenma texted me and I checked out of the hotel. I looked around before I saw what I assumed was Kenma's car pull up. "I wish your mom was here to see this moment" I said as I kissed his head carefully since he was still peacefully sleeping.

We drove for what seemed to be around an hour, Hiro slept most of the way there and was slightly overdue for a bottle so we pulled over so I could hop in the back. He finished half a bottle before a familiar voice finally said something. "Fatherhood has really changed you" He said quietly. "Yeah, it truly did. Being responsible for another human puts everything into perspective" I said quietly since Hiro had fallen back asleep. "Does he look more like Misa or does he look like you" he whispered back, "he has a few of my features including my hair, but he definitely takes after Misa a lot, he was her twin. He even acts like her in a way" I said as I peered down at my sleeping son.

"Anyway let's just talk, a lot has happened since the last time we saw each other" he said, the rest of the car ride to where Kenma was living was full of nothing but catching up and small talk. We soon arrived at Kenma's house and we unloaded the car rather quickly. "You can set up all of Hiro's stuff in the spare bedroom down the hall and to your left"
Kenma said as he plopped down on the couch. I did just that and settled Hiro in the travel crib again before walking out to the living room and taking a seat next to where Kenma was sitting on his couch.

"Now as your best friend I have the right to ask you about how you're holding up and don't you dare even think about giving me a shit answer" Kenma said rather sternly. That's when I lost all my self control and let out all the tears I had been holding in for the 11 months come spilling out all at once. "I miss her so much it hurts Kenma, I would give my life for Hiro to truly get to know his mother and what kind of person she was" I said in between my loud sobs. "I know it hurts, I can't even begin to imagine how hard this has been for you" Kenma said as he hugged me. "The last few months of her life she was so sick and in constant pain, the only thing I could do to help her was to ask god to take her so she wouldn't hurt like that anymore" I revealed.

"And that house we lived in, I can't live without her let alone live in the place we made our own" I sobbed into his shoulder. "Then go ahead and sell it, I've made a decision and there is no way you'll ever change my mind" Kenma stated. "What stupid thing are you planning on doing" I said as I sat straight up and wiped my tears away. "I am going to move back to Japan and don't you dare say that I shouldn't do that for you cause I'm not. I was offered a sponsorship position for the MSBY black jackals a few days ago and I was already planning on accepting it" he said quietly.

"You Kuroo are simply motivation" Kenma said with a sparkle in his eyes. "You and Hiro are more than welcome to come and live with me" he added. "Let's do it then" I said as I hugged Kenma roughly. "You are truly one of the best friends I've ever had" I said as I went into the bedroom to check on Hiro as his cries echoed throughout the house. "Everything is going to be okay baby, daddy's here now" I said as I picked him up and began to try and soothe him. "Mama" he cried out loudly sending a painful shock throughout my entire body. "I know buddy, daddy misses her too, I know it hurts a lot bud" I said as I tried so hard to soothe both myself and Hiro.

Kenma's p.o.v.

I watched Kuroo as he talked to Hiro and realized I couldn't keep the feelings I felt for Kuroo locked up anymore. The real reason I hadn't gotten married yet is because the only person I could ever even consider to make my husband had married a woman named Misa 2 years ago, I was too much of a scared coward to tell him how I really felt. I knew he loved Misa and that he would always have strong feelings for her but I was older now and I felt ready to tell him how I felt, but I also knew that now wasn't the right time, he had some healing to do.