❥︎ 𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔

𝒸𝒾𝓃𝒸ℴ

Is everyone else more important than me? Everyone else has something at least in their life, while I have nothing. No one to lean onto for comfort. No one to rant to without hurting their own feelings. I have to keep it all bottled up until it all just explodes into a panic attack.

I can't talk to anyone about my problems. I've tried. I've tried talking to my dad but he didn't listen. I've tried talking to my mom but it turned into a talk about how I should think more about others. I don't want to talk to people online because I'm just burdening them with my problems.

I'm supposed to be perfect. I'm supposed to get A's. I'm supposed to not cry. I'm supposed to act alright when I get yelled at. But I can't. Yelling just triggers something in me and it starts a panic attack. But no one cares. No one fucking cares. It's always just go to your room. And then when I'm in the middle of it and they try to force me to talk and I ignore them, I get in trouble. So what am I supposed to do?

I could never say anything to my friends at school either. For what I know, they'd make fun of me. They already do, so what's the point. I can't be myself around anyone but myself. I can't be gay. I have to be Christian. And it's all just suffocating. My own family probably won't accept me as part of the Lgbtq+ community.

And I keep this to myself because it's just me being a baby. If I try to tell anyone this, it's just me pushing my problems onto them. It's just me being my normal selfish self. I'm just an attention seeker. I'm just an awful person.