𝗧𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸

𝗧𝗲𝗻 | 𝗔 𝗦𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵*

𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚'𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 slammed against her ribcage. Her skin was damp by a thin sheen of sweat, the layer only becoming thicker with the help of Japan's moist, warm weather and the thousands of other bodies radiating heat into the stadium. Michael's voice resounded around her in harmony with a synth and heavy bass, but they diminished to a distant echo in her head. The wild choreography of the multicolor lights, the dancers and singers, the screams all became secondary to the attention-capturing man that was performing just a few feet above and ahead. Her nerve endings were humming like the prongs of a tuning fork just from watching him do what he had done masterfully all his life.

What the hell was happening to her?

She shook off the weightless feeling that made a habit of filling her chest whenever she looked at Michael lately. She looked over her shoulder to survey the audience that was contained within the iron barriers behind her and the row of security guards. From the few faces she could see through the leftover lighting from the stage, some were plastered with a grin of sheer delight. Some were stricken by grief, clearly on the edge of a full meltdown.

Mallorie's eyes stopped on one girl in particular. With not a crinkle to be found on her face, the girl looked to be around the same age as her. Her pale skin was inflamed by a mild red, giving way to her distress. Her mouth was open wide, the curdling scream that had to be coming from it blending with the others, and she lunged against the iron fence with an outstretched hand, unquestionably yearning for just a touch from the superstar.

To a degree that frightened her, Mallorie could relate to the girl. She felt that, if she didn't have the intimate experiences turned memories, she would be in the same state. Michael was magnetizing. Addictive. And she felt like she was going crazy from it.

It was her fault. She broke her promise to maintain professional boundaries with him time and time again. But she felt punished, trapped on the yo-yoing restrictions of his touring schedule. One moment, she was being swept into the bliss of privacy with him, bonding through the way he held her or the secret kisses they shared. The next, she was being ripped away, abandoned for the sake of meetings, sound checks and the like and forced back into her mundane daily routine.

After they had kissed in Tokyo, nothing particularly special happened. They pulled apart and continued browsing the shop, building up quite the selection of candy for the ill children he visited and for her mother. While she basked in the sense of togetherness, the normalcy of holding hands while shopping, there was nothing more than a modest hug at the end of it all, and they parted ways at the hotel. But the near two weeks he spent away from her in the wake of that night stung more than anything.

Michael was more than benevolent. He proved it easily over and over. He had teased her about their unique "friendship" but didn't test the limits of it otherwise. There wasn't a doubt that the two weeks he spent without visiting her hotel room were because he was wrapped up in what it took to uphold his artistry, as well as his visits to the children's hospitals and other events. That she knew. So why did she feel... angry with him for not seeing her? Why did she need to see him?

A hand cupped around Mallorie's ear, snatching her from her introspection.

"What's going on? Why do you look like that?" Karen asked then pulled back to pointedly give her a bewildered look.

"Look like what?" she did her best to shout over the volume of the music.

The makeup artist only laughed. "You look like someone shot your dog!"

"Sorry, I was just thinking—"

"Don't apologize to me! I'm not the one being stared at like that!"

Mallorie instantly made the conscious effort to relax the muscles in her face then took a deep breath. Then she cursed her maker for giving her such transparent and wearable emotions. Far from being in the mood for conversation, she did her best to zone back into the performance, transferring her focus from her own appearance to Michael.