deadly hearts, 𝐭𝐰𝐝✓

but they also tear you apart

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒

( CHAPTER SIX ! )

❝ 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 ❞

IT HAD NOT EVEN BEEN A FULL TWENTY FOUR HOURS SINCE THE BOYS HAD LEFT and already I was beginning to go borderline unhinged in their absence.

I feel like I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drowning in this camp where we're unable to go one bloody minute without something happening. Between the beat down with Ed, the whole grave-digging mess with Jim, and whatever was going on with Shane and Lori, this whole zombie apocalypse survival group was starting to feel like some entirely fucked-up, hormonally-infested high school flick.

All I freaking want is to sleep. And—although I didn't think it would be possible, especially now that I have no other source of entertainment—I have found myself in a goddamn reading slump. It wasn't that I couldn't get into any of the books I've started, it was because of all this stupid nail-biting anxiety that's been plaguing me since the moment we've returned, eating me up inside so much that I can't even attempt at focusing on anything else. Which, might I add, is just fucking peachy.

I wanted to tell myself I had nothing to worry about. I mean, I've witnessed first hand just how good Rick was with all this "survivalist " nonsense and knew that he would not let anything happen to Cal, Liam, or Glenn. And, although I did not trust Daryl in the slightest, I also knew that deep down he's nothing like his shitty brother and his skill with the crossbow would play out well in their favor. Or at least it would as long as he's using his skills to kill zombies, and not backstab the people I care about. Because that would suck absolute balls.

I suppose the only good thing to come out of today was this fish I was devouring at the moment. Considering I haven't had a true meal in days, I'm sure even Gordan Ramsey would approve of this delectable treat. This is probably what it feels like when death row inmates have their last meal. You know, the "oh-my god-this-is-the-best-meal-of-my-life" part, not the "I'm-gonna-die-tomorrow-and-will-never-eat-again" part. But, given the current state of the world we live in, the latter could also apply as well.

The group was chatting amongst themselves about Dale's watch, however I cannot recall how this topic was even brought up. I often tend to do that by accident—I mean, get so lost in my own thoughts that I block out the rest of my surroundings and then, when I do come back to my senses, have no clue what's going on. Some might think it's disorienting, but I find it rather calming. Big groups of people overwhelm me, and I struggle to follow along conversations in these settings, so my disassociation actually helps me stay focused and not loose my mind.