I'll keep you safe - pynch

I'll keep you safe

I'll keep you safe.

Try hard to concentrate.

Hold out your hand,

Can you feel the weight of it?

The whole world at your fingertips-

All Ronan could hear was crickets, singing their lullabies outside the window. He'd left it slightly open to let some of the night breeze in. So far, that summer had been nothing but scorching hot days and suffocating nights. In those conditions, sharing a twin-sized bed with Adam Parrish was both a blessing and a curse.

Ronan didn't know how it was even possible, but Adam's skin managed to be inexplicably warm throughout the year, no matter the weather. Even though he felt something like a natural radiator against him, Ronan wouldn't have traded the warmth of Adam's skin for the coldest of summer nights.

He pressed a kiss on his nape, where his sun-kissed hair was just a little softer, and tried falling asleep once again. For some reason, something prevented him from catching some decent sleep. Or maybe he'd just knocked back too many energy drinks, waiting up for Adam to finish his dreaded scholarship essay. The little genius was in line for another scholarship. Though he could feel the imposter syndrome radiating off of him as he read the essay prompts, Ronan was insanely proud of him. In just a year at Harvard, Adam had achieved so much. He'd proven to be just as smart as the other freshmen, if not smarter. Dealing with long distance was definitely a pain in the ass – Henrietta and Cambridge were an eight-hour drive apart, after all–, but Ronan had come to terms with it. Slowly, very slowly, but he had. Adam's presence in his life made the wait worth it.

Adam shifted slightly, pressing his back against Ronan's chest and bringing one leg closer to his chest. Sharing a small bed like that was always tricky, a game of tetris, but with limbs. His boyfriend looked comfortable enough now and Ronan adjusted against him, one hand abandoned lazily on Adam's stomach. Adam mumbled something unintelligible and weirdly adorable, to which Ronan replied by nuzzling against his shoulder like a loyal pet.

Staying with Adam at the Barns during summer break was Ronan's equivalent of Christmas. It was like being in Aglionby again, but with way less worrying about Gansey's quest, ley lines and undead Welsh knights. It was familiar, as if Adam belonged there. With him. Adam moved around the house like he'd grown up within the Barns' walls. He never looked like a guest and he always knew where everything was, like a proper local. There was something vaguely heartwarming in the way Adam always seemed to know where to fetch all the random things Ronan asked him for during the day, something that made Ronan want to intertwine his fingers with his. Sometimes Ronan thought about whether he'd dreamt Adam, too, or if he was just happy for once in his life.

Hours flew by and the crickets fell silent, just as the sky was starting to bloom in light blues and shy purples. Ronan lay there on his back, one hand tucked behind his shaved head and Adam's blonde strands tickling his chest at every breath. It was too early to wake Adam up – God knows how much sleep Adam needed to catch up on –, but too late to wish for some sleep. Ronan ran his fingers through Adam's hair, all ruffled up from his twists and turns, and smiled a private smile to himself only. He'd probably end up thinking about moments like those, once Adam drove back to Cambridge in a couple weeks. The comfort of his presence and the suffocating ache of his absence.

Adam flinched and Ronan's attention suddenly shifted back to reality.

Ronan couldn't peer through his eyelids to see what was happening behind them, but it certainly didn't look pleasant. For a second, he considered forcing himself asleep to meet him in dreamspace but Adam's eyes suddenly shot open. His skin had grown colder from his anxious sweat.

'Adam,' Ronan whispered, 'what's wrong?'

But Adam didn't reply and just stared at him with terrified, wide-open blue eyes. His lower lip trembled slightly, as he reached for Ronan's hand with his.

'Adam, talk to me,' Ronan tried once again, his voice low and collected. Adam already looked nervous enough without his worry to burden him. 'Are you okay?'

'I was... dreaming,' Adam murmured, 'A nightmare.' He quickly added, as Ronan stroked the back of his hand with his thumb.

'Wanna talk about it?'

Adam hesitated, his eyes half-closed. He buried his freckled face in Ronan's pale chest, as he gathered up his thoughts. With his free hand, Ronan lightly ran his fingers on Adam's back.

'He was beating me again,' Adam spat out, as if the words were poisonous enough to hurt him just by being in his mouth. 'Nobody was there to stop him and I couldn't move. I tried but I couldn't...,' His voice broke, a tear streaming down Adam's cheek.

Ronan hugged him so tight he could have bruised his ribs.

'Come here,' he whispered, this time ever so softly, as Adam hugged him back and buried his damp face in his neck. 'He can't hurt you, now. I'm never letting anybody hurt you again, Adam.' He pressed a kiss on the back of his neck, keeping him close as Adam let out a few sobs. 'It was just a nightmare. It's over, okay? It's over.'

He cradled Adam until he stopped crying and his skin grew warm again. The sun was now up in the sky, though veiled by the early morning clouds. It wasn't the first time Adam dreamt about his father's heavy hands. Ronan often wished he could erase all that pain from Adam's mind and take it upon himself, just so that he could stop hurting the way he clearly did. Other times, he wished he'd killed Adam's father, instead. He did not deserve to be called a father, even, the massive asshole. Even thinking about his hands striking Adam sprang anger all over his body.

Once Adam had calmed down, Ronan pushed his blond hair back and kissed his forehead. He then rested his chin on top of his head, holding him as close as he possibly could. He didn't know where his body ended and Adam's started, entangled as they were on that tiny bed.

'If this ever happens again,' Ronan started, 'I'm gonna dream myself there and I'm gonna kick his fucking ass personally, mhm? Fucking bastard.' It came out a little angrier than he'd expected, but somehow it forced the resemblance of a smile on Adam's face.

'You'd do that?' Adam murmured, his rosey lips slightly curved upwards, 'Really?'

'Of course I'm gonna fucking do that, Parrish.' he looked him right in the eye, two different shades of blue merging together. 'I'll keep you safe. That's the only thing that matters.'