Rule and Ruin

thirteen; the shallow burn of hatred

chapter thirteen.

✧ ✧ ✧

SELENE FIGURED SHE HAD nothing to lose, so she told them everything she knew about the stupid building. Ren immediately got to work, typing away at the computer, analyzing the building and hatching a plan.

That night, Selene retreated into a quiet bedroom where she finally got to be alone. The room was occupied by a bed, a dresser, a small table, and now her. An intruder. Besides the few lonesome books that were scattered across the table, the room held a lack of personality, as if it was meant to be abandoned at any minute. She had a feeling it was Nix's.

Selene crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling. The bedsheets were too cold. The room was too quiet. She missed the familiarity of her room back at Dino's. She squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want to think about him. She didn't want to think at all anymore.

Yet as hard as she tried not to, all she could do was overthink throughout the next few days.

Selene felt out of place. Each door squeak and floor rumble reminded her that she did not belong here. She crept through the apartment like a thief terrified of getting caught.

Every time she walked into the room, their conversations quieted down. They would glance at her and then at each other, conversing in a silence she understood too well. She knew they didn't trust her - at least not fully yet - and she knew better than to fully trust them. But Selene hated feeling like this. She hated being pushed on the sidelines, rendered useless. Insignificant. Powerless.

Those nights, she lay in the bed with her eyes wide, staring at the looming walls that stretched up and up into the unreachable darkness.

She knew she ought to feel grateful that they let her stay in the house. For those first few days, she felt like a ghost, floating in and out of her room and the kitchen like it was some cursed routine. She was partially grateful that they left her alone. The silence let her reflect on her years of deception. But the other part of her, the hungry, manic, angered side of her knew she wanted more.

Each side eye they gave and each hushed whisper they uttered drove her insane. She was tired of living amongst secrets. She was tired of wondering when the next bomb was going to drop.

So on the third day, she stalked into their planning room and rolled her eyes when they stopped speaking. Ren not-so-subtly angled his computer screen away from her while Nix put his paper down and raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

"Still giving me the silent treatment?" she mumbled. "Are we in elementary school or something?"

"I don't know what you mean," Nix said.

"Yes, you do, asswipe," she accused his arrogant smile. "Tell me what you guys are scheming."

"Scheming?" Nix feigned confusion.

"You could be plotting my murder right now, and I'd have no idea."

"Don't put ideas in my head, Selene," he said with a laugh.

"I want to know," she said, tired of this back and forth game. "I want to know what you're planning for Dino."

"Oh is that it?"

"What?"

"Took you a while. I've been waiting for you to ask," Nix said.

She stared at him in confusion.

"If you wanted to help, all you had to do was ask," he shrugged. "I was starting to think you preferred spending your time moping around and feeling sorry for yourself. And if that was the case, I was going to give you about two more days before kicking your ass to the curb."

Selene clenched her jaw, knowing she had no place to argue back.

"I know you don't trust us. We don't trust you either," he said. "But at this point, it's more than just trust. It's about cause. It's about if you want this enough, because if you don't, I don't have any use for you."

It was shameful to learn that while she had been letting herself fall deeper and deeper into the spiral of her own mind, Nix had been waiting for her to dig herself out.

"You were just waiting for me to beg you on my knees to let me help?" she sneered.

"Yeah actually, I wouldn't mind that," Nix grinned, gesturing to the floor. "Get to it, then."

She took a menacing step towards him, her eyes cold and blazing, seizing and spiteful. She hated him. The careless manner he spoke to her. The teasing way he looked at her. She hated absolutely everything about him.

Her eyes zeroed in on the knife he toyed with in his hand. If only she could get her hands on that. Or, a gun, a rope, or anything. She pictured the satisfying scene of his lifeless body, dead eyes at her mercy.

"I'm going to fucking kill - " she started.

It seemed he could read the murderous glint in her eye because suddenly, the sound of metal cut through air and stopped her in her place. She froze when she saw the knife dig into the wall mere centimeters away from her right ear. He didn't even aim.

She dragged her gaze to him again, her entire body trembling with anger at his arrogant grin as he leaned back against his chair. It took everything in her not to pull the knife out and dig it in that pompous, greedy son of a bitch's heart.

She grit her teeth and glared at him with such hateful eyes, Nix had the audacity to feign hurt.

He smiled dangerously. "Could you get that for me please?"

God, she wanted to kill him.

Selene wrapped her fingers around the knife handle and pulled it out of the wall. She examined it for a moment, staring into her own reflection under that cold greyness. She began walking towards him, the sharp metal in her hand glinting with a malicious promise.

Nix didn't move an inch as he calmly watched the predator approach him.

"You missed," she said, dropping the weapon into his hands.

She was aware that it was all a display of power. He wanted to keep her in place. Remind her she was only a temporary guest here.

Nix hummed as he twirled the knife in his hands. She watched it move skillfully between his fingers as he leaned his chair back on its hind legs.

For a moment, she was going to just let it go. She was going to allow him to make a fool out of her as he had in that file room and as he had in front of Dino. But she was fucking tired of letting people play her like that.

So she kicked her leg out and pushed against his leaning chair, sending him and the wooden chair toppling backwards. He fell onto the floor with a crash, the knife clattering to the ground beside him.

"Sorry," she said, failing to hide the menace in her voice. "I tripped."

She turned and dragged a seat to sit next to Ren, who stared back at her, unimpressed. Usually, it would have ticked her off, but she would rather Ren's indifference than see whatever retaliation Nix might be planning. Despite how childish it was, she felt a small twinge of victory run down her spine.

From the corner of her eye, she saw that he was still lying on the floor, his hand resting on his chest as he let out low breaths of laughter.

Cutting her gaze away from the jackass on the floor, she looked at Ren's computer screen. "So," she said. "Tell me the plan."