Rule and Ruin

twenty-one; the truth's tears

chapter twenty-one.

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"ADELAIDE, THIS IS Selene," Nix said. "Remember her? She helped us save you."

Selene looked at the empty shell of a seventeen-year-old that was Adelaide. It felt like looking at a ghost. It felt like looking in the mirror.

"Hello," Adelaide said, her voice raspy.

Selene just looked at her and said nothing. She didn't have much to say these days.

Ren leaned against the doorway, his green eyes watching them attentively. Nix stood behind his sister, observing her every reaction and every movement.

From her angle, Selene could see the resemblance. They had the same black eyes, the same sunken cheeks, even the same desolate aura. Adelaide's black hair was short and choppy around her neck, as if it had been poorly cut recently. Little fringes curved against the corners of her pale face. Selene couldn't help wondering if Dino had run his corrupted hands through those locks too.

"Nicky says you saved me," Adelaide said hollowly. "Thank you."

Selene didn't know why she wanted to cry so much these days.

Thank you.

Such simple words, and yet she didn't feel like she deserved them. She still felt like a fraud.

"Yeah," Selene muttered. "You're welcome."

They stared at each other for a while until the silence felt like it was going to shatter both of them. Nix glanced back and forth between them in calculation.

Ren cleared his throat and reached a hand out to Adelaide, "Come on," he said to her. Selene had never heard his voice that gentle. "Let's leave her alone."

Nix headed for the door. Adelaide accepted Ren's hand but did not turn away. She took a step closer to Selene, making Selene blink in surprise.

She reached out her right hand but stopped right before it touched Selene's cheek. Selene held her breath as Adelaide's hand hung in the air beside her, barely there, barely touching, barely existing.

She was looking at Selene like she knew everything. How could she possibly know anything?

"It doesn't get better," Adelaide whispered and then dropped her hand.

She turned around and left the room with Ren's hand still in hers. Nix watched them walk past him before looking back at Selene. His dark eyes narrowed in conflict. The way he regarded her made Selene want to scream until her lungs gave out.

Nix blinked and his gaze was wiped empty once again. He left and closed the door behind him. Selene thought about Adelaide's words all night. She didn't have to ask to know what Adelaide was talking about.

It doesn't get better.

She thought about the way those dirty hands touched her. The way those steel knives cut to her bones. The way that sick man thrust into her. The way those fists crashed against her ribs. The way those cigarette-stained lips burned her body.

To the wrong people, pain and pleasure were the same, weren't they?

Selene slipped out of her room around 3 AM for a glass of water. Lately, it was difficult to get any sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Wang's menaced sneer as he spit on her. Dino's cavalier grin as he embraced her broken pieces. She was scared to dream, terrified of the hell those delusions would take her to.

She watched the water trickle into her cup, unable to stop her thoughts from wandering. Not long ago, Wang had worked under her. She needed only to say the word, and she could have had his head. But then again, not long ago, she had practically worshipped her father's murderer.

Sighing, Selene gulped down the water and set the glass aside rather forcefully. Leaned on her hands against the kitchen counter, she took a deep breath and tried to erase the image of Wang's sneering taunts from her mind. She tried to erase the thoughts of men like Dino having their way with young girls like Adelaide. She tried to pretend this was not the world she lived in. Not the world she had helped build.

"Selene," his voice sounded behind her.

She turned around to face Nix, who stood in the dark at the kitchen door frame. Like a shadow, as always. After all this time, she couldn't tell if she hated or loved the way her name sounded from his traitorous lips.

"Are you alright?"

His question sent chills down her spine, because she knew her answer wasn't what either of them wanted to hear. She turned back around, staring down at the kitchen counter as she poured another glass of water. "Yeah."

He came to stand next to her, his shoulder brushing against hers.

"The truth, please."

"It doesn't matter."

"I'll be the judge of that."

She hated how nosy he was. How intrusive he was. She just wanted to be alone.

"I thought I told you," she huffed. "I don't really care what you think."

He wasn't amused this time. He gripped her shoulder. "What did they do to you?"

Selene stiffened from both his touch and his question. She looked aside, at anything but him.

She knew those dark eyes would compel the truth. Somehow, they could read her better than she could read herself.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," she said robotically, because fear was weakness, and she wasn't weak.

"Selene," he said again. Her name sounded like a prayer coming from his lips.

"I'm tough," she whispered, as if to convince herself.

"I know you are," he said, and he pulled her into his chest, trapping her in an embrace she had not experienced in years. She closed her eyes and leaned into his body, no longer able to stop the tears that fell from her eyes.

He held her in silence as she cried and thought about all that man had wrecked.