❝H-How about we get,❞I shut my eyes for a second before breathing out,❝into a deal like f-friends with benefits thing?❞
Where Jungkook finds himself trapped in a tempting cage of intimating nights with his childhood crush. Every step they will be ta...
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"It's better to not let the bitter truth intervene."
There is a soundtrack for this chapter.
~ 🌹 ~
"Could you tell me, what did I do wrong in those years that you left me heartbroken yearning for you like a crazy boy?"
Her eyes are enlarged as the question asked right now has her heart drumming against her chest, which seemingly is noticed by mesas my eyes connect with her.
"Tell me, for fucks sake."That's it. I am losing my patience.
"You have no idea, what I have gone through."she meets my eyes and right now there is guilt, pupils which can't helps but ask for forgiveness.
"Then tell me, and I am so so sorry for getting our mere one time thing for a forever bond!" Right now, I have no grasp on what I am speaking, but right now I want to make her feel the pain, and it's selfish of me.
I know,
I fucking know.
And it hurts.
I have never felt anything like this moment in my life as I see her eyes brimming with tears, which in no time flow down her cheeks, staining them—so painful and ugly. But somehow how I wondered for her tears to cease the hurt caused by her to me these fucking years, does not seem to happen and it doesn't ease my heart like I wanted it to.
Irony.
It hurts.
The emotions are one dangerous element in your existence as you can't help but it will take your whole life to understand one emotion, I have never been this frisky about the matter of love, but Sarnai came as a swirl and mixed me up. My hands might have touched others, but Sarnai can't ever come in the same bar as them, because she is incomparable.
"Wasn't it a no strings attached for you, Jungkook?" I am left speechless as she initially breaks my heart into shattered million pieces. I take a step forward, my long desired possession is in front of me, and all I could think is how I'm getting dissolved into the sward of emotions I don't want to face again.
The pain I'm feeling right now is disgusting, utterly disgusting. I feel like laughing, so I laugh out loud and my tears are falling down and I realize that she can see. God it was so heavenly to be near her.
She seems to flinch, as she can feel the glance so strong shown by me towards her direction which slams into her, as if it had thrown a pinch in her guts.
"Wasn't it?" She definitely knows she's hurting me, and I can feel her eyes getting more moist, as she still manages to connect our eyes.
For what? That the abandonment issues which had haunted me for years are the ones which had resisted me for getting into such a relationship with you?
"I might have not been able to speak these years,"I get near as my thumb painfully touches her lower lip after I tug on her chin with my hand, her perfume still the same, as I sniff in softly, the powerful feeling indulging inside my nostrils, "The love which conquers for you in my heart, nothing can compare it."I grit through my teeth, before leaving her astounded.
I don't need to be there for her,
I don't need to be,
She doesn't need me.
"Jungkook."she mutter ever so softly, as she is few seconds away from wailing her eyes out, but I don't care, or thats what I seem to show. Or that's what I think it is.
"No need. Save it for your pathetic self."I spit the disgust in my tone, the feeling was disgusting.
I never thought I would spit out the honest truth this way, irony overlies the situation as in where the confessions are supposed to be a bed of roses, instead it turned out to be pairs of thorns poking me, it was brutal for me, it was hard for me to overcome the feeling I am feeling right now.
Sarnai. My beloved Sarnai. I don't know what had happened to her, so my next action just leaves her behind as she prevents the door from hitting too hard on the surface, because Diana will be scared off.
"Jungkook, I know I am not capable of your forgiveness, but please come around Diana once in a while."my eyes are hurting as I just nod, and walk towards my car. I need to get out of her, but even that moment all I could think was her. She turns her back and returns inside the house, just like she did to my heart, she still does.
And the click is what I need to relax my veins which are thumping hard form the immense anger I feel. I need to relax, I indeed do.
I turn around and go to my house, and the bar set up is what I need as I withdraw the stool sitting by myself, as I guy down the burning liquid down my throat, and for once the bitter liquid relished my bitter feelings for some time, as I ponder with thoughts which arises in me, as I read the message which had been present in my cellphone after a 'ting' sound.
Father:
Meet me at my house, before office time. I have somethings ready.
10:43p.m
I return a message a back I will be present. And now I am left with Sarnai herself inside my mind, and today's fallbacks seem to juggle me from my insights.
Tears that failed to keep within me, now fall as how I wish she could have been gone away from me, but the truth is that she never left my hear, nor will she.
Seven years weren't ever enough for her to keep her away from me, not even now.
It will be never enough.
~ 🌹 ~
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