Lost In You

kabanata 27

Kabanata 27

It's been almost 5 months since the last time I saw him. Now, I'm in 12th grade. Wala na'kong balita sakanya. The only thing I know is that he immediately went abroad. Hindi na rin ako pinuntahan pa ng kaniyang ina.

Sa tuwing makikita ko si Vince, he would smile at me like nothing happened. Hindi nya dinamay ang sarili nya sa gulo namin ni Theodoro. Hindi ko na din nakita pa si Tita Lana since hindi naman ako pumupunta sa lugar nila. Everything felt different.

Up until now, hindi pa rin mahanap ng kapulisan si Daddy. Binabantayan rin nila ang kilos ko at pinaghihinalaan na itinatago ko sya. Well, fuck them. Why would I do that?

I heaved a sigh and lookup. Nandito ako ngayon sa park ng village namin. Madilim at malamig ang gabi ngunit nahanap ko ang kagustuhang pumunta dito.

It's August 15. It is supposed to be our 2nd anniversary. Kumusta na kaya sya? Is he mad at me? Does he still remember this day?

Kasi ako.. lahat tandang tanda ko. Lahat ng nangyari nakatatak sa puso't isip ko.

I just hope that wherever he is, he's happy and fine. Because I sacrificed our relationship for his happiness and principles.

"You're here.."

Napatayo ako nang marinig ko ang isang tinig. It's Vince. Akala ko kung sino na. Akala ko bumalik na sya.

"Hmmm," I hummed. Binigyan ko sya ng espasyo para makatabi sya sa akin dito sa bench na inuupuan ko.

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"Really? Your friends are worried about you."

"They don't have to," sagot ko. "Ayos lang ako."

He shrugged, "Well.. wala namang tao ang umaamin na hindi sila ayos, hindi ba?"

Natigilan ako. He's right.

"Alam mo naman pala nagtatanong ka pa."

He laughed at me. "Gusto ko kasi marinig mismo sa'yo."

Hindi na ako sumagot at natahimik naman kami. Walang nagsasalita sa amin habang nakatingin lang sa mga bituin sa langit.

Actually, hindi masyadong madami ang mga bituin ngayon. Tag-ulan kasi kaya't nagtatago sila. Ganoon ba talaga? Kapag may sakuna, tumatakbo tayo. Tulad nila, kapag uulan na, nagtatago na sila.

Are we really scared of the things that could hurt us? Takot ba tayong mabasag?

Kung nagtatago tayo dahil takot tayong mabasag, bakit patuloy pa rin tayong nadudurog?

"How's school?" biglang tanong ni Vince.

Natawa ako nang mahina, "Really? You sound like my uncle."

He only scoffed, "Just answer it."

"Still the same, Vince. Parang ako yung criminal na nakikita nila. Kamukha ko ba ang ama ko? Ako ba sya?" tawa ko. "Pero bukod doon, they still see me as the woman who broke your cousin's heart that made him leave."

"I don't see you like that. Either way.."

"Hindi mo sila katulad."

"And so are you. Hindi mo katulad ang ama mo, Craya. Stop beating yourself up for things you have no control with. Don't make things harder for you."

With that, he stood up and leave me alone.

How can it be not my fault when everything's connected with me, Vince?