Lies We Tell To Stay Alive

5

tw: f slur, implied abuse

media rec: little pickle town (youtube animatic series)

***

“Neil, do I really have to fucking do this?” Max asked, huffing with exasperation.

“You don’t Have to, but I really think you should,” Neil responded.

Instead of responding, Max just rolled his eyes, and walked off towards Nikki.

“Hey, dumbass,” Max said, directing their words towards Nikki, “I need to talk to you.”

“Hm?” Nikki said, looking up from her breakfast - some questionable left-over mashed potatoes from the night before.

Taking a big breath, Max tried mentally preparing themself before blurting out, “I’m genderfluid. Still go by Max but she/he/they pronouns.”

Nikki jumped up, excitedly yelling and hugging Max, just resulting in him wincing and telling her to ‘quiet down a bit’. 

“So it went well then?” Neil asked, a smirk plastered across his face, as Max stood back next to him, trying to get himself out of the center of attention in the whole mess hall.

For the rest of the day, it appeared that Max was in a much better mood than they had been for essentially all of camp leading up to now, but just around dinner, Nikki noticed a change in their attitude. 

“Hey Max, what’s going on?” She asked, but the only response she got was a typical ‘fuck-off’. “Seriously Max,” Nikki continued, “Are you okay? You seem off.”

“Just dysphoric..” Max mumbled, realizing this was the first time she’d ever spoken to others about this. 

“Well, are you feeling more femenine, masculine, or in-between right now?”

“...Fem.” Getting increasingly embarrassed, Max buried her head in her jacket sleeve.

“Would wearing a skirt help?” Nikki asked curiously, trying her best to support her friend, but still unsure as to what she could do. In response, Max quickly nodded her head and then just as quickly shook their head. Nikki, deciding to take the second answer with a grain of salt - or just not take the second answer at all, grabbed Max by the arm and pulled her out to her tent. 

In Nikki's tent, Nikki began digging through her bag, pulling out a skirt from the bottom corner - her mother had packed it much to Nikki's disgruntlement - and she chucked it towards Max, making her jump and quickly catch the skirt.

"Do you maybe.. have leggings too?" Max asked. Sure, the skirt would probably cover the injuries littering her thighs, but Max didn't want to take any chances. 

Passing Max a pair of blue leggings - a shockingly similar shade to Max's hoodie -  to go with the just shorter than knee-length black umbrella skirt, Nikki turned to the wall of the tent, giving Max the privacy to change. 

When Max allowed Nikki to turn back around, she immediately squealed with excitement, showering Max with compliments about how cute she was in a skirt.

"Do you think it'll be okay for me to keep wearing this.. like out there with the other campers?" Max asked hesitantly.

"Of course," Nikki responded.

"What aboyt the other campers saying things though?"

"Then they say things. You shouldn't let them stop you from doing what you want."

After a few minutes of sitting, Max gathered up her courage, and walked back outside, towards the activity feild, she and Nikki both rejoining Neil.

"Nice skirt," Neil said, giving Max a small smile of encouragement.

Max made it all the way through the afternoon without any comments on her attire, that is until Nurf decided to go antagonize her.

"Hey Max," Nurf yelled, Making Max immediately spin towards him, startled. "So are you some kinda fag now?"

This scenario was all too familiar for Max - and it wasn't from school. It was easy enough for her to slide by in school unnoticed - don't talk, turn in all your work, and most importantly, make sure you seem cishet. So long as she did all that, no one ever seemed to even notice her. Unfortunately, summer camp was a whole different story - when there were so many fewer kids, nearly everyone knew everyone, and Max was most definitely breaking the rules needed to stay under the radar by wearing a skirt. This scenario was familiar, not due to school, not due to friends, but instead due to her parents. As soon as the words left Nurf's mouth, it was no longer Nurf who was speaking - all Max could hear was her fathers voice over and over, spouting out hateful words left and right.

Max bend down to the ground, wrapping her hands around her knees, trying her best to rehulate her breathing. Just calm down. Dad's not here. Dad's not coming here. You'll be okay. It's just Nurf. You'll be okay.

You'll be okay.

***

if y'all need anything, feel free to reach out <3
thanks for reading!

idk if I'll have an update ready by next week cause im focusing a bit more on my ass class fic. and oneshot collection atm, but I should have a chapter for sure the week after