Chapter 9: Apologize

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Taeyong woke up in an unknown place, he couldn't lie, he wanted to sleep there forever. The covers were so warm and the mattress was so soft, even the person who had him prisoned in his hug smelled like cinnamon and bubblegum.

And then Taeyong realized that he was cuddling with someone. Hesitantly opening his eyes he saw Johnny.

Suddenly, the oxygen seemed less and soon not enough. The grip on Taeyong's waist felt more and more powerful and the said boy started trashing around to runaway from it. He was scared, scared to get screamed at or hit.

And as Johnny's eyes popped up, he quickly understood the situation Taeyong was in.
He took his hand off his waist, got up and kept the much needed distance for Taeyong.
Johnny could sense another panic attack coming for the boy so he grabbed his attention whispering clear words of comfort and reassurance.

"Taeyong. I'm really sorry about yesterday. Please, try to breath."

"P-please d-don't hit me-"

"I won't, I promise you that. Look, I'm not going to touch you and go near you. The only thing I need you to do is breath."

Half an hour later Taeyong calmed down and once he came back to his senses he began to panic again as he knew, he would be asked about his reaction.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes..."

"Do you want to go down for breakfast? It should be ready."

"I don't want to talk about... w-wait, breakfast?"

"Yes Taeyong. I'm not going to force you to talk about something you don't want to."

"Let's go then."

Taeyong was gratefull really, but he remembered their conversation from last night and decided to not overdo it with apologies and thank yous.

He was in the middle of the stairs when Taeil saw him and surprised he spoke up.

"You. Why were you upstairs? I didn't know you were now aloud to go in our bedrooms' floor. Did you upgrade?"

"J-Johnny-"

"J-Johnny what?"

"..." Taeyong's hands started to tremble once again

"What’s wrong Lee? Cat got your tongue? Or maybe you can't even say a word because of that stupid stutter?"

"It's not stupid!"

"Oh! You can talk without it too?"

"I- I don't always speak like that-"

"I don't care what you do. I don't like you, nor trust you so you better not go up there again. Got it? For as far as I know you could spy on us and murder us while we're asleep."

"I would never do such a thing-"

"Your... kidnapping said otherwise. And don't eat much."

"Why?"

"You should know better. Bye bitch."

And Taeil went in the dining room while Taeyong was left frozen at the stairs.
Was he really such a waste of space that he didn't even deserve food? Why didn't they trust him? He did, it's unfair.

"Taeyong?"

"Mhh- oh yeah?"

"What are you doing still there? Did you eat already?"

"Umm- I'm- I'm not hungry anymore. Um- I- I'm going in my room, I have a headache. "

"Maybe it's because you need food. You should-"

"Thank you Johnny. I really can't eat anything right now."

Taeyong made his way to the dusty room of the basement. It was huge but his bed was placed in a dark, cold unused small room.
There was a home cinema, a bathroom even a playroom, but he had already figured he wasn't aloud there.

He left himself fall on the hard mattress. He missed Johnny's soft one...
Thoughts clouded his mind. Why did no one want him? Did the others feel that way too?
Why was he so miserable? Why was he such a mistake?

At this point, he recognised what he did was wrong. Everyone was in danger because of him and most importantly Johnny, the guy he seemed to like from the first time he heard his voice while on a phone call with Mark. The guy he seemed to trust and gain feelings since the very first time he saw him, while he planned his runaway.
He couldn't let so many people get destroyed by him. He could face the consequences, he could face the end. He couldn't face the responsibility of murdering people that helped him more than anyone.
So he was going to change that... soon.
He would do the only thing he's good at.

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