TEN YEARS, The Kenny Ackerman Story BOOK TWO~ FUTURES, by Melly O'Hara

EVE

CHAPTER 15 EVE

He arrived home; tired, defeat etched in his features, as he slunk into the sofa; whiskey in hand. He'd ridden all night; in an effort to warn the First Interior Squad that their Stohess Head Quarters were in danger of being raided by the Scouts. But he was too late. The raid had been carried out by the Survey Corp, and the First Interior Squad was no more. Kenny's men arrested or killed. And as he arrived home, the morning newspaper had shouted the headlines exposing the truth of Dimo Reeves death.

The only thing that comforted him, was the knowledge that at least Rod had Eren.
Even though Rod's price for giving Kenny the precious, blue serum and performing the Ceremony that would fulfil Kenny's dream, had changed. The sparing of Rod's life was no longer the only payment he required for handing over the serum to Kenny. Now, he had also wanted Kenny to right a wrong, and return his one remaining child to him; Historia. Even if she was illegitimate. He needed the Reiss's to continue, he said. He needed some semblance of family. Kenny had agreed and delivered them both to Rod, allowing Rod and Historia time together, before Kenny returned for the Ceremony that would make him whole.

The faint blue, of pre-dawn, shone through the lounge room windows, as the stars began to fade. The lamps competed with the coming morning, as they illuminated our last day. Sitting beside him on the sofa, snuggling into his chest, my arm across his waist; I held him close, breathing in his scent as if it were oxygen. The brown mohair blanket wrapped around my shoulders, I listened as he explained the events from the last few days. The last month.
As he opened up and let me in again. Invited me into his world.
Time was precious now. The Scouts were good. But not that good. They didn't know Rod lived. And so they couldn't know that Rod had Eren and Historia.
So this Ceremony would go ahead.
And this was the end of the life I'd known with Kenny.
This was goodbye.

Raising my head to look at his profile. The strong jaw, his full sensuous lips, the sparse black beard, his cheeks hollow with age, the creases that framed his eyes, deepening into harsh lines from the stress, the grey shadows that revealed his lack of sleep. I raised my hand, caressing his face, realising that it wasn't just the past month that had aged him. Pain was etching itself into his features. And just as he'd watched the Titan take Uri's youth, so pain was taking his.
Either way, I was losing him.

We had a few hours before he had to leave and head north to the Orvud outpost that sat attached to Wall Sina and making his way through Orvud and exiting its gate that adjoined it to the territory inside Wall Rose, he would head to the Reiss Chapel; where, come nightfall, the Ceremony would be held.

There was so little time.
How could I possibly hoard a lifetime of memories, sensations, into such a short amount of time? If he survived, I knew from his descriptions of Frieda and Uri, that he wouldn't be the same. And that our clock would start ticking down, thirteen years, from the Ceremony. Any dream of normalicy, children, old age would be gone.
But so would his pain. And he would still be here beside me.
So I held onto him. Imprinting the sound of his voice. Breathing him in. Conscious of the strength of his arm, wrapped around me. The hardness of his chest. The soft stubble that lined his neck. His soft black hair that caressed his shoulders. His powerful hand that stroked my hair.
That a man, this strong, this powerful; be capable of such tenderness, broke me.

It was such a waste! Such a damn, fucking waste! That a good man. A deep man. A loyal man. Could be transformed into some kind of monster, just because of his altered DNA. Who the Hell was this First King anyway? Who played with the lives of his people. And experimented on them. It wasn't fair! He didn't ask to be treated like shit! Hunted. Attacked. He didn't ask for the Ackerman Power that had stolen his innocence! He didn't ask to become a mere shell of the man he could have been!
Where his only escape from the pain was ; violence, death or transforming into another monster!
IT WASN'T FAIR!

We sat together in silence until it was time for him to leave.

"I'm going with you", I announced, preparing myself, alongside him.

"The HELL ya are!" he replied, his face grim. " Ya wait here.... 'Sides, Rod might change his mind if'n he sees an outsider. He's fricken weird when it comes ta all this hocus-pocus shit!
He gets all 'true-believer' 'bout it. Ya stayin' here."

Wrenching clothes from their hangers in our closet; I argued my case. Determined to go whether he wanted me to or not.

" Rod's Estate is huge right?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Acres and acres of land, right?" I pressed.

Again he nodded.

"Well I'm assuming that he has a wood or forest or something on his property, to supply him with all that firewood he needs to keep him nice and cosy out there during those long cold winter nights. And, so those servants of his can prepare those gourmet meals he's so fond of?"

Kenny waited.

"So I'm thinking that where there's a wood, there's a woodsman. And if the wood is far enough from the Estate, then there must be times when the woodsman would be too tired to make it all the way back to the Estate's servants quarters. So, he'd probably have his own little hut in the woods? Right?" I finished triumphantly, looking at him hope in my eyes.

"I knows what ya thinkin', Owl. But don' go gettin' all over- excited. Yeah, Rod got his men ta build Ol' Ben a bran' new hut on his Estate, jus' a little ways outside o' the woods. But ya can't use it Owl! Ol' Ben would be sure ta report ta the master. Ya jus' gotta wait for me here. Don' worry. I'll be back", he smiled at me as he threw his black coat over his shoulders.

"I'm not staying! Don't you understand? If there's a new shack...that must mean there's an old one!" I pleaded.

He looked at me thoughtfully, reading the determination in my eyes.
"Well, he began. " Back in Uri's day, Ol' Ben bein' younger used ta live in some crumpled down hut in the thick o' the woods. I guess that's still there." He paused, considering.
" Well, I guess ya can wait for me there. It's 'bout a kilometre or so east as ya head inta the woods." Kenny chuckled. " Word was Ol' Ben in his younger days made moon-shine out there and at night he'd get stinkin' drunk an' dance naked, howlin' at the moon!"

Grabbing my coat, some blankets, whiskey, bandages and needles and thread, I shoved everything into a small bag.

"God, Owl!" he exclaimed. " We're not goin' campin'! It's only for a couple o' hours!"
"Well... ya can keep the whiskey!" he laughed.

Turning to him, I answered," Well what if you get hurt? I mean you've never turned into a Titan before! What if Eren fights back?"

He sighed, and pulling me close, kissed the top of my head."Ya woulda made a great mother Owl. Fussin' over ya babies..."
"Love ya Owl"

"Love you too, Kenny", I replied, holding him tight.

Kenny's horse, rested and fed, stood in the stables next to mine. His dark brown bay stallion, as untamed as he was and just as eager to set off. Ginger whinnied excitedly as I brought out her tac, realising that we were going out for a ride. Horses ready, we led them outside into the late morning sun. And mounting our steeds, began the journey to Rod's Orvud Estate.

The sun had sunk low, almost hidden behind the horizon, by the time we reached the edge of the woods that lined Rod's Estate. At their boundary, we paused. Kenny dismounted from his stallion and handed me the reins. Then, removing his signature long black trench coat; handed it to me.
"Don' want it gettin' dirty, none", he muttered, avoiding my eyes.

"I'll keep it safe", I responded, drinking him in. His black cowboy hat, shading his face, his shoulders square and broad as he readied himself for the coming event. The setting sun caressing his face, his body. Strong. Ready. Determined.

I lay his coat in my lap, holding the reins to his horse in the same hand that held Ginger's.
And watched him leave, his form becoming smaller as he headed away from me.

"Hey!" I called.

At the sound of my voice he turned, waiting.

"Ya forgot ta give me one for the road... Afore ya turned ya self inta a Titan!" I waved, smiling softly, veiling the pain.

He smiled back at me. Tears misty in his eyes.
And walked away.