𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 a girl who has only ever known a life of peace finds herself at the heart of a revolution, thrusting her into a world of death and destruction. when all that had once made sense suddenly falls apart before her very eyes, she is force...
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THE DAUNTLESS DON'T WASTE ANY TIME; that's the first thing that pops into my head as I wander back into the Pit, immediately stunned by the distinct smell of alcohol. It seems like the whole faction has gathered together to party and get drunk in honour of the fallen initiate.
It isn't all that different from how we handled things back in Amity — funerals were generally treated as a positive event, filled with the reminder of happy memories and words of affirmation. But standing here now, knowing the reason behind Al's death, it doesn't seem right to celebrate anything.
"Where'd you go?" Uriah asks me as I find him with all the other initiates. He has a silver flask in his hand, and when he notices me staring at it, he offers it up.
I instinctively reach out and grasp it before I can even think about how it may be a bad idea, instead tilting my head back as I bring the cold metal lip to my mouth. The beverage is sour and burns slightly as it falls down my throat, but it doesn't make me flinch. It makes my insides feel warm, strangely like how I felt in Peter's embrace.
I can feel my cheeks begin to flush at the thought, so I quickly shake it from my head before handing the flask back to him. "I needed fresh air," I tell him truthfully.
He nods his head and reaches out to place his hand on my arm, his lips pulled into a tight smile. "Are you going to be okay?"
The more I think about it, the more I wonder the same thing. Am I going to be okay? Will any of us be okay? Because everything about this situation, everything us initiates have been put through, doesn't seem okay. The fact that we have to actively fight to remain a part of the society we grew up in seems as far from okay as possible... but I am just one girl. And surely one girl cannot take on a whole faction system.
So I mirror his tight-lipped smile and nod my head. "I'll be fine."
But instead of accepting my answer and moving on like I expect him to, he just keeps staring at me, his brows furrowing together after a moment. "It's okay to mourn him, y'know."
His words surprise me, and my face slackens in response. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, yeah, Al did something horrible. But he was a friend before he did that, and it's okay to mourn the loss of that friend."
His answer comes as even more of a surprise.
There's a part of me that doesn't feel like I have a right to feel sad about Al. It isn't my place to forgive him for what he did to Tris, but it's also hard for me to stay mad at him when I know he's gone and never coming back. I have never lost someone like this before — not in such a definite way, at least.
