IVANOV ~ yelena belova

𝟎𝟐𝟖

The wind whipped around her. The purple haze that seemed to have cascaded over the canvas she was looking at accentuated the ominous shadows. The rock was jagged beneath her bare feet, but her mind was too hazy to wonder why she didn't have shoes.

However, as her surroundings became more blurry - like the static on an old television - it all seemed to become stranger. She tried to ground herself, but the more she concentrated, the more her mind drifted away from her surroundings.

Still, the constant eclipse in the purple sky enveloped the world in a darkness she couldn't quite comprehend. The moon was too big, taking up the vast majority of the sky, which she knew wasn't possible on Earth. The sun peered out from behind the moon, as if the sliver of light it provided would somehow dispel the foreboding chill she was feeling. But she knew that if the sun won its battle with the moon, the planet she was on would feel like a Spring meadow - colourful and carefree.

The sound of movement behind her, the slight ruffle in their clothes, should have prompted the assassin to turn around and defend herself, but her limbs felt like lead. Her muscles twitched and cramped as she turned her head to look at the figure standing behind her.

She was paralysed to the spot, the man's - if she could call him that - menacing aura gripped her tightly.  Fear became tangible, a living force that crept over her like a hungry beast, immobilising her. The colour of his skin was like blood and the bones of his cheeks were visible, as if the wind had bitten away at his skin. But, as she forced herself to focus on the thing in front of her, her gaze was drawn to the figure behind him.

Her hand was extended towards her, beckoning her to join them as her red plait danced in the wind. It felt all too inviting.

"Natasha?"

ⴵ

Karina's heart was racing as she twisted in her scratchy motel sheets, and beads of sweat formed on her brow as she frowned. She couldn't breathe, as if someone had crushed her windpipe and the splintered pieces had lodged themselves into her throat. She had been having these dreams since she'd escaped Hydra, and she hoped she could figure out what they were trying to tell her. With her hand, she scratched and teared at the sheets. Despite this, it was the cool steal in her other palm that jolted her out of her nightmare.

Karina's chest heaved as she looked down at the weapon in her palm. She delicately placed a calloused finger on the trigger as she considered, for only a second, what it would be like to just not live, to only be the collection of atoms that she was composed of and nothing more - not a killer, or a sister, or a daughter.

But the thought was gone as quickly as it had come. The Red Room and Hydra did not raise cowards, and despite her declaration that she was done with those organisations, the instructions 'instil, fear, pain' still ran through her mind. It had been ten days since she had left Bucky, or more realistically, since Bucky had left her.

And, despite telling herself that she enjoyed the independence and sense of freedom that came with escaping Hydra and Bucky's big brother clutches, she still felt the same loneliness that pervaded all of her cells. As a result, she found herself looking for the one person she knew would be happy to see her. The one who causes her chest to flutter and her heart to swell. But it saddened her to know that, despite being the most important person in her life, Yelena was the only one who would be elated to see her.

She knew she should have looked for Yelena sooner, hell, she'd scour the entire planet for her, but Karina wasn't in the right frame of mind to return to Russia - the first place on her list of possible locations for Yelena. She didn't want Yelena to see her as the same assassin she was all those years ago - despite the fact that she was - when Yelena was living a normal life outside the Red Room.

Normal life.

Karina fell into a dark pit of questions as a result of this. Would Yelena want to see her if her life was back to normal? What if Yelena was in a relationship with someone else?

She realised, however, that there was only one way to find out.

Therefore, she ended up in a cheap and dingy motel room in Ohio. The second place on her list. She remembered the place Yelena had mentioned so fondly in their small cell. Maple Road. Karina's first thought was that it sounded like a place from a fairy tale. She imagined the yellow and orange leaves crunching under bike tyres in autumn and the cherry blossom blooming in the spring. Nothing like her small Russian village.

She forced herself out of her uncomfortable bed, but her mind was still plagued by nightmares. The person in the dirty mirror staring back at her felt too different from the fifteen-year-old she used to be. Her face was littered with scars, and her eyes were sunken. She thought she looked worse now than she did in Hydra or the Red Room because her dark circles were so prominent, but she knew it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She appeared unhealthy now, but she looked even worse in the organisations - she could never be satisfied with how she looked when her scars still revealed her past.

The taxi's cool air conditioning did nothing to alleviate the sweat that was forming on her skin. Her hands shook with nervousness as she considered the blonde. The butterflies in her stomach felt like moths that were eating away at her flesh like clothes.

But she paid the taxi driver and stepped onto the smooth concrete that was free of cracks and holes. Karina looked around, and she was correct: the street was straight out of the Disney movie she had watched on the plane. And the old lady standing watering her plants in her garden opposite made the scene even more picture-perfect - a stark contrast to the nightmare she had previously.

Karina approached the elderly lady and asked, "excuse me, ma'am. Have you seen a blonde woman in her twenties around here?"

"I think the person you're looking for is right behind you," she replied kindly.

And she was correct.

𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼, 𝗜'𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸. 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘂𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 :)