IVANOV ~ yelena belova

𝟎𝟑𝟏

"The Winter Soldier. Karina, are you serious?" Yelena was bewildered. Her eyes wide as saucers showing her vibrant blue eyes and the shock within them. The horror stories that whispered around the Red Room used to plague her nightmares. On any mission, she would always be on edge, fearful the monster with the metal arm would be in the shadows. "That-that's crazy," she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

Karina chuckled slightly at her lover's shock. "It's a long story, Lena," she said softly.

"Well, we have no where to be. There's no rush," she replied just as softly. Her voice was like honey, urging Karina to tell her everything.

Yelena's words put everything into perceptive, like pieces of a puzzle fitting together. Karina was finally in a place with the person she could call home. There was no need for fighting about where they had been when they had each other now. Both girls couldn't ridicule one another about their past when they've both had it equally devastating.

But they had escaped.

They were free to live the rest of their lives together.

And with that thought in mind, Karina shared all of the moments she experienced with Bucky, from the start. They moved from the uncomfortable dining room chairs to the living room. They lounged together on the green sofa as Yelena ran her fingers through Karina's hair. Her soft voice echoed through the room as she recalled the time her and Bucky caught Natasha and Steve making out on the escalator. Yelena let out a gasp, hearing the elicit gossip about her sister.

The two giggled and laughed, and wiped each other's tears away as they talked about the more difficult memories in Hydra. The sun was setting outside and the golden beams shon through the window, casting a golden haze around the room. Yelena gazed at her lover as she watched her animatedly recall a mission with Bucky, her hands creating wild gestures in the air. And the feeling hit her hard.

She couldn't lose her again.

The love she felt at that moment was ablaze as her eyes gleamed and her smile radiant like the golden orange light around her.

Karina paused her story and turned to look at the blonde behind her since her fingers stopped working through her hair. She was met with Yelena's glowing smile and teary eyes.

"I love you," the blonde whispered. "I can't lose you again."

"I love you too. And you won't lose me, never again," Karina replied, leaning forward to rest her forehead against Yelena's. Softly, she pressed her parted lips against hers as they moved together as one. Her hand came up to brush Yelena's rosy cheek as she kissed her lips, her nose, her forehead until the blonde began to giggle at the tickling sensation.

"C'mon, we've had a long couple of days, let's go to bed."

ⴵ

The bed was comfortable. Irritatingly and frustratingly comfortable.

Karina tossed and turned, the memory foam mattress made her feeling undeserving, like she was staining it from the blood on her hands. She was half tempted to drag her pillow and herself onto the cold floor in order to receive some normalcy; but, the feeling of the blonde's arm around her waist, anchoring her to the bed, was tempting her to stay.

Karina surrendered to the comfortableness, contemplating whether she could finally leave her past behind and be worthy of the soft bed and the arm around her waist. Yelena's hand drew circles on her waist as she slept; each sweep of her hand felt like the washing away of blood that she thought tainted her skin.

Yelena proved that she could start again.

A new city.

A new life.

The same love.

"Just go to sleep," the blonde mumbled behind her. Her breath hitting the back of Karina's neck as she sighed and squeezed her arm tighter around her.

Karina jumped, not expecting Yelena to be awake. She turned around to face her, brushing a strand of blonde hair from her face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she whispered, embarrassed. This was the first time her and Yelena were sleeping in the same bed and she could barely do that. She kept finding that there was little she could do right for Yelena.

"You didn't wake me," Yelena replied softly, kissing Karina's forehead to reassure her. "I find it difficult to sleep these days as well," she said, glancing at the large double bed with a frown. The space between them felt too large. Even if they were pressed together, it didn't feel close enough.

Karina relaxed into the blonde's touch, the hand on her cheek defusing her inner musings. She tried to relax her stiff shoulders and sink into the mattress but when she closed her eyes, the cushions beneath her head felt like the bodies she caused to fall asleep more peacefully than her; like their hands were reaching from their graves whispering her sins.

In the end, whether it was a bed or her lover, she would never actually be worthy. With these dark thoughts, Karina fell into a fitful sleep dreaming of flashes of purple skies and fallen friends.

HELLO teeny tiny chapter that I had in the drafts. Hope you enjoyed the domesticity! Idk when I'll update again... it's been 2 years since my last chapter so it's difficult to link back to what has happened but I will try my best! We'll see if I do actually update again so please don't be expecting weekly updates or anything I just wanted to give you this chapter as a kind of farewell? Thanks, I hope you've enjoyed reading!