The Boy in Black

Chapter 9

The rest of the day went by more or less like that. I stayed in bed for rest of it, too in pain to move. Neither of them bothered me for the rest of the day. Around 8:00 p.m. I had to go to the bathroom, so I took a deep breath and braced myself. I slowly sat up and stood, then started my (painful) walk to the bathroom.

When I turned on the light and looked in the giant mirror, I almost had a fucking aneurysm. A giant bruise was on my left cheek. I can't see Oliver tomorrow, either, I guess.

       I can't see him until after we're at school on Monday. Then I can just lie and say Tony did it. It's more believable then me falling and hitting my head on my door knob which... yes, has been an excuse before. It was a really long time ago when my teacher asked me and I panicked, okay? Don't judge me.

      I did my business and washed my hands. When I was done, I stared in the mirror. I pulled my shirt up to look at the damage splayed out across my abdomen. I almost passed out from it.

      Almost every inch of skin was covered in new bruises. Grays, purples and yellows (from past bruises) littered my skin. I looked up at my face and stared at this broken boy in the mirror. The boy who should've died yesterday. A worthless, unloveable boy.  Look at what you've become.

      I took a deep breath and let go of the hem of my shirt. I pulled the long sleeves over my hands to give me sweater paws and wrapped my arms around myself, like I was hugging myself. It's not like anyone else was gonna do it.

I took one last look at the thing in front of me, and then turned of the light. I limped back to my room and laid down on my bed again.

I shouldn't have let Oliver save me yesterday. I should've just ran and jumped when I had the fucking chance. I'm an idiot.

If I had died yesterday, I wouldn't be in pain right now. I wouldn't be wheezing because it felt like someone was stabbing my lungs. Actually... I could do it right now. I could go to the bathroom and carve into my arm, all the way down to the bone and wait for my life to pour out of me like my insides. I should. I should do it right. no-

*ding*

I picked up my phone.

     Ollie
Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the park again?
    Sent 8:34 p.m.

     Why, yes, Oliver. I would love to go to the park. I would love to jump off the swings and laugh and listen to you talk about how lovely the stars look tonight. I would love to play video games in your bedroom, and go downstairs to eat and watch tv with your mother. I would love to spend time with you, whom I am still a bit jealous of because you had the life that I daydreamed about. I would love to be anywhere except for this stupid fucking house with these assholes who dont give a shit about me and only use me for Child Support from CPS and a punching bad. I would love all of that... but I can't. Because then you would know.

     Sorry, I can't :( 

    Think, stupid, think. Why can't you? Think think think. I resume typing.

      Sorry, I can't :(  I'm not allowed to leave after 8:30 without permission from my dad, and he went to bed early. He was tired, he worked overtime today.
     Sent 8:39 p.m.

     What a fucking joke. Walter doesn't work, much less would he work overtime. He was probably awake downstairs, smoking and getting shitfaced and getting angry. It's all he ever really does.

     Sometimes I wonder if he was ever a kind soul. I wonder if he was the time of person to hold the door open for people, or give his spare money that he had in his pocket to someone who was less fortunate and living on the street. And if he was, I wonder why he changed.

     *ding*

     Ollie
     That sucks, I really wanted to hang out with you today. Maybe tomorrow?
     Sent 8:41 p.m.

     I already know what I'm going to say tomorrow. I can't let him see this big ass bruise on my face. I know that tomorrow, my answer will still be more or less the same. *sorry, i can't :(*

     Sure
     Sent 8:42 p.m.

      Hellooo. I was typing this out and then I realized that "The Boy Who Should've Died" probably would've been a much better title than what it is now. I suffer in silence ;-;  Anyway, love you guys and I hope you liked it. Byeee~