Perfectly wrong for me

2 ~ prologue

4 years ago...

I shouted my goodbyes across the street to Elina before turning and stepping through my front door shutting it behind me. My happiness was instantly crushed by the sound of my mother's cries. Nothing hurt me more than hearing my mom upset and hurt, she was the one person I had to rely on...she was always there, and she always will be. I can at least start repaying the favor once whilst I can.

My father.

I followed the sound, finding myself and her in the kitchen. "What has he done now?" My tone came out a lot more annoyed than intended...it just gets pretty damn annoying when every time you find your mom upset you think it's your dad's fault.

My dad left us all when I was 6, even though it felt like way before that. He's always been gone in some way, whether it was he was out on business trips or he decided to spend some time away. There's a list of excuses. But one day I stopped caring, not fully but enough. I was used to my dad never being around so him leaving officially didn't break me apart completely. Only it left my mom distraught, and she's never been the same. She tries the best she can, never letting me and Kai see how upset she was over his sudden decision to leave.

She lifted her head, her eyes telling me a different story than normal. I stepped closer to her and locked my arms around her embracing her in a hug. "Mom, what's happened?" I took a deep breath holding her tighter.

My mother's long dark silky hair fell over my arm as she shook her head, unable to get her words out. I felt myself slowly pull out of the hug to look at her, nodding slowly trying to encourage her to speak. "Y-y-your brother." That's all she gave me, her stutter broke me. This is not my mother. I reached out and grabbed her hand, giving her any support she needed. The sound of a deep breath came before the words that changed my life followed.

"Kai is...K-Kia. My little boy is gone"

She trembled over her words. "What?" I felt my heart stop, he can't be. No no no no no. My brother. My best friend. My everything.

gone

No he's not.

He can't.

I sat on my mum's lap as she attempted to explain everything to me, we both understood it was better for me to find out how by her than the bitches at school. But the only words I managed to get from this were car and crash. He is gone. My brother. My best friend. My everything.

I didn't even know what to do with myself, what was I supposed to do? I grabbed some cookie dough ice cream and then put it straight back, losing my appetite for everything. He was really gone.

Two weeks later:

I was finally returning to school, after a few weeks I had been hiding up in my bedroom ignoring all my problems. My mom seemed fine again, but I know it was just an act...and I refused to fall for it, not this time. The halls were crowded and filled with people as usual. But it didn't feel normal for me.

I think I heard the same phrases about a million times in an hour.

"How are you doing?"

"Are you okay?

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm so sorry for your loss, how are you?"

every single time someone asked, I answered with the same thing "I'm fine." I flashed them a small friendly smile and continued as I was. Because all I wanted was a bit of normality and no one was giving me that.

I hated every second of being there.

I left halfway through lunch and Eina practically demanded that she walked me home. I don't give her enough credit, She came over the moment she had heard the news, she'd passed over a few snacks...all of our favorites. And a beautiful bouquet of Lily's for my mom. She asked if i wanted her to say and i simply declined the offer just needing some time to myself.

El then messaged later on that day;

Elina: Hey, you wanna talk?

Me: Not yet. Please don't ask again E.

I will let you know when I'm ready.

Elina: y'know when you're coming back to school? It kinda sucks without you.

Not kinda, it definitely sucks without you!!

The one thing I didn't expect so fast was a smile hitting my face...she knew how to do it. And she kept everything between us as mundane as possible.

Me: you could just say you miss me...

Elina: Never!

Me: ouch :((

I put my phone down and climbed into my bed hugging my knees to my chest, grabbed the pot of pringles El gave me, pulled the lid open, and shoved a few into my mouth. I grabbed my phone on instinct, she still hadn't replied.

I think I watched the three gray dots wiggle their way around for about ten more minutes until the huge paragraph of a message showed up on my screen.

Elina: I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Got the memo yet?! Goodnight, ttys. xoxox