Force Of Nature

Chapter 36

"Tristyn. Look at me baby." Ryan was now standing behind me as I huffed in frustration over his stubbornness. I turned around and glared at him, but felt my expression soften when I looked into his eyes. They were glazed with pain, but filled with love too.

"Ry, I get why you need to do this, I do. I'm just scared. That wreck probably took years off of my life. I know this is what you do, and I want to support you. I will support you. It's just so hard sometimes because every time you strap into that car, I'm going to be wondering if you'll come back to me at the end. I don't want to be like this, I really don't, I just can't help it. I know the safety advances that have gone into the cars. My head keeps telling me that over and over, but my heart just doesn't want to listen." I said, fighting myself not to start crying again.

"I will always come back to you at the end." He said, looking deeply into my eyes.

"But you can't guarantee that. No one can." I felt the tear I had been trying to hold back slip out, and he gently wiped it away.

"No I can't, but you know I'm safer in that race car than in a car on the street right." His eyes pleaded with me to understand.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with this? What's your point?" I asked.

"My point is, I could have the safest job in the world, but shit still happens. Life is full of risks, but that doesn't mean we stop living."

I sighed. "You're right. I know that. Provided you get clearance for this weekend, I support you. I just wish it wasn't the Roval. Right and left turns are going to make things even more difficult, especially with your shoulder."

"I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow, hopefully I will get cleared. The trainer Steve has a list of things for me to go over with the doctor, including injections for longer term pain control. They have seat inserts with extra padding as well as a compression vest to keep things from moving around too much. I'm sure adrenaline will kick in to keep me from being too uncomfortable in the car, but we can have a relief driver on standby just in case."

"I thought compression was not recommended." I questioned.

"It's only for the race. The vest has a zipper that I can pull down during cautions so that I can take deep some breaths and zip back up just before we go green." He explained.

"Sounds like y'all have it all figured out." I sighed again.

"We have to have a plan."

"Just promise me that if it's too much, you'll get out of the car and let someone else drive." I pleaded.

"I promise baby." He then wrapped me in a hug. I hugged him back, but when I heard his sharp intake of breath I tried to let go.

"I'm sorry. I'm hurting you." I said, but he would not let me let go.

"I don't care. Not holding you was killing me. I'll suck up the pain."

"Okay." I murmured against his shoulder. I didn't want to let go ever. "We should probably get some sleep. I don't know about you, but I'm still exhausted.

"I am. I meant it too, that I want you to take it easy. Try to stay off your feet as much as possible, and stop stressing about things that are out of your control."

"I'll try." I chuckled because that was not my nature.

*******

I woke up the next morning fairly well rested, probably as well rested as you can get at seven months pregnant while worrying about the love of your life lying bruised and battered next to you anyway.

I got up and stretched my sore aching muscles that I had from sleeping in a more or less cramped position to keep from rolling into Ryan, thus causing him more discomfort.

A hot shower helped a little bit to loosen me up, but of course I was hungry. I'm always hungry these days.

Pancakes are quick and easy, so I decided to fix that. Coffee. I needed my cup of coffee today.

I ate my breakfast in the kitchen, keeping Ryan's warm partly because I wanted to let him sleep longer and partly because carrying a tray loaded with both our breakfasts and coffee up the stairs was a little much.

After eating, I rinsed my dishes and put them in the dishwasher, then brought Ryan his breakfast.

He was just waking up when I got there, and I just couldn't stop staring at the vast array of bruises marring his fair skin. I had a hard time looking away. It hurt my heart to see him hurt. While I stared at his bruises, he stared at the plate in my hand. I knew what he was thinking.

"Don't fuss at me, I had to eat. We had to eat." I said, handing him the mug of coffee and setting the plate on the nightstand.

"Thank you baby." He said, taking a sip of coffee before setting it down and reaching for the plate. I guess he wasn't going to argue with me for once.

"I got it." I said, stopping him from stretching too far, and I picked up the plate and set it on his lap. "How are you feeling this morning?" I asked.

"Hurts." He replied, around a mouthful of food.

I got the bottle of pills that was also sitting on the nightstand, shook out two of them and handed them to him, along with the bottle of water that was there.

"Would you like me to drive you to your appointment today? We could pick up the dogs when we're done." I offered.

"If you don't mind." He smiled, and I was pleased that he was accepting my help.

"Of course I don't mind." I assured him.

After breakfast, we both hopped into the shower, and as I had done the day before, I soaped him up and washed his hair for him.

"I could get used to this." He grinned at me.

"I don't mind doing it. I just wish it wasn't a necessity and more of a want."

We dried off and got dressed, Ryan grimacing as he pulled on a T-shirt. I still couldn't believe he was going to attempt to race Sunday when just putting on a shirt caused this much discomfort.

Ryan did get cleared to race on Sunday. The doctor gave him cortisone injections in his shoulder and rib area to provide longer term pain control and reduce inflammation. Instructions were given for pre and post race procedures and care. I was still apprehensive about him racing Sunday, but did feel a little better about it since the doctor did clear him. He would just need to follow the instructions carefully. Continue with Advil and ice as needed. Deep breathing exercises and to limit the compression as much as possible.

After leaving the doctors office, we visited with Bubba and Amanda for a little while when we picked up the dogs. Luckily Max and Sturgill were both well trained and not prone to jumping on us, regardless of how happy they were to see us.

Ryan felt much better after receiving the injections and per doctor's instructions tried to move around a little more as opposed to laying around in bed, which he hated. Just nothing too strenuous. Unfortunately, that ruled out sex. It would probably be a week or two before he felt up to it. This was probably the longest we had gone without since we've been together.

Ryan did not complain. He handled it like a trooper even though I could see the pain would intensify at times, especially when he did his deep breathing exercises. The injections did help a lot, it was just an injury that had a fairly lengthy recovery time, but by the time Sunday rolled around, he was feeling a little better. I dreaded to see how he would be feeling after the race though.

A sixth place finish was enough to advance him to the next round in the playoffs. I was unbelievably proud of him. As expected, the pain following the race was pretty intense, but he pushed through it like a bad ass.

Each day he did improve, and stayed in contention throughout the playoffs. A win at Martinsville locked him into the final four. He was going to Phoenix with a chance to win his first championship.