I don't want this forever {Sope}

O

Today was a day better than most. He got mad at me cause I decided to break one of his things. He ended up yelling and scratching me. But then when he was done he came back with a first aid kit to help my wounds.

His friends came over after that. One if them is named Jin . He's so handsome and nice how come I couldn't have him as a boyfriend. Maybe I should get with him but I can't let my boyfriend know. He's looking at me. He's even more handsome when he smiles. He winked at me. This should be easy.

Gosh love
What do I talk about now. I have nothing left but to explain how I got into this situation. The situation that leads me to having him laying on my side as he lights a lighter onto my skin. Burning it so lightly as he now decides to repeat the words “I love you”.

His love seems fake but so is mine. So I took the pain as he repeated those words over and over. I don't think he was happy to see me and his friend so buddy buddy. Love baffles me. I never knew so much pain could go through with it. I can feel my skin opening as the flames lightly brush around my thigh. Was I mad. No. I petted his hair as he burned me while saying those words.

Then I yank it. Letting him know the pure hated I have for him. For ruining my life. I could be...happy. But maybe my life lays here with him in our crappy house with no where to go but to each other. Our friends can't do anything anymore were already to far in. To lost in love to get help or to get away. They tried but now I think they finally give up.

Love...
My love for him is so strong we will never split. No matter how many cops get called on us. No matter how many stares we get as we fight but held each other hand through it. We've done so much to each other it's not who did more it's now we are even. Even this relationship is not “yes it is is” even.

Even
Even are those happy couples in the park the ones who never fight, argue, or threatened death. They're the ones who go on cute dates, make surprises for each other, and stays happy with each other. Once on our mess of a date he admitted those couples are never happy on the inside. How they make up a picture perfect relationship when behind closed doors one banging another. And the other drinks there problems away.

It reminded me a certain couple “US!”.

Love is don't want love anymore
Love is scary, love is life or death, but love and me and him. The one I'll never leave knowing he'll never leave me. No matter how much a cheat he sticks with me as I endure my punishment as he says “I love you” over and over. No matter how much he drinks and hurts me knowing I'll just threaten him with his friends if he does so again. Love hate relationship gets my blood going.

Die
Who...
Who died
Do I do for him
Or does he die for me

Why am I talking about this!
Dying isn't normal...
Why do we make it normal
We shouldn't die for each other for the other to die cause of the other.
Were so fucked up

But I love it