Kia Stone had everything she asked for, a loving family, understanding and caring parents and sibling bond that give her courage to fight against and stand alone in a crowd. A peer group which was united and understanding towards her and best friend...
Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don't deserve this
You look perfect tonight
...............
With the last lines of the song we reached to our destination the mall. "OK give me one minute to find the parking and then we can go inside" I said as I drove towards an empty parking spot
"We need to buy cloths and yes subway" said Samuel or Sam as we usually call her "and ice cream" said an exited Ray proceeding to open the door
"Ok we will do what ever you want but none of you are supposed to wonder around without telling me first I said finally getting out of the car."
"Yes K" both said in union. "Ok then lets go and have fun".
First we made a quick stop at the gift store and jewelry store to buy a present for Seren. Although Seren is a simple girl she has quite a taste for things and she is crazy about animals. we got her two gifts for now a pendant and rings along with a soft toy. Don't judge her she is still a kid and well I like to pamper her too.
"Ok now of to cloths" Sam said marching to our next stop leaving a tired Ray and me behind. we looked at each other and sighed.
"ok but hurry up we don't have much time left" I said as we proceeded to enter the store. Sam like her usual self was of to look for clots she wanted us to buy leaving me and ray alone. I was just looking at the stand of cloths in front of me when i saw a very happy Sam coming back to us after an hour.
"K, see what I found. you have to try it" she said while I looked at the dress in her hand. I took the dress from her hand saying "Ok but you better select the cloths you want to buy before I finish changing we are leaving after that." "Yes, Yes K I will do that but first go and change into the dress" saying this she proceeded to push me inside the changing room in fear I changed my mind.
I changed into the dress as fast as I could. while proceeding to change I was aw struck by it "its really beautiful". Finished changing I got out of the room only to find a shocked Samuel and a partly shocked Ray
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The dress Sam bought me
"K... Buy it. it looks beautiful on you. BUYE IT . BUYE IT" said Sam as she took a look at me from all possible sides.
Before I could say anything Ray delayed "The dress is beautiful, you look beautiful, we are buying it. No discussion" and proceeded back to the playing with the phone. "Is it really ok" I said asking for a final conformation "YES" both Samuel and Ray said particularly shouting "OK" I said.
just as I made my way towards the changing room "Wait" I heard ray. turning back, before I could ask anything I saw him taking a picture, and when he was done he simply gave me a 'Hmm' asking me to continue on my path.
We surprisingly came out of the shop in just twenty minutes after I changed back to my clothes. "I need to pick up a book from the bookstore, so both of you go on to subway. I will be back in ten" "hmm", "ok" I informed Sam and Ray leaving them half way to go to the book store on the third floor.
The third floor was emptier then the first floor where we just finished our shopping. On my way towards the bookstore I caught hold of a sweet smell coming from the café n the right side.
Before I could continue on my way I was suddenly struck with memories of the past when dad used to bring us to the mall and before returning treat us to cake in the very café, slowly scenes changed and I was left in the hospital room where I saw him for the last time. my breath became uneven and I slowly bend to the floor with my eyes closed and ears covered. I was crying.
I felt a presence near me like someone was standing in front of me with their hand on my hand. I herd there voice "Its going to be ok, breath. Its Ok breath." May be seeing that I was not getting better they said again "listen to my voice and count with me" and they started counting One, Two, Three, by the time the person reached five I was finally able to listen without all those noises and counted with him Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, and on Ten I was back to normal. Getting a hold of my self I slowly got up saying my thanks without looking at the guy I rushed to my siblings.
After looking around for five minutes I found them in front of an ice cream store holding two packets from subway in one hand and two ice creams in the other. Getting a hold of my self and after putting a smile on my face I went towards them.
"Looks like you both have everything covered" I said as I reached them. Taking the packets in their hand I asked "Where is my ice cream" "Sam ate it" said Ray pushing all the blame on Samuel "Oh shut up Sunshine. Ray dropped it Sis" said an annoyed Samuel looking at a Smiling Ray. They where ready to fight when I said "Ok, Ok I get it. Lets go back home now, Mom will be back in an hour"
"Wait K, you are forgetting something" Sam said stopping me on my way. I froze overthinking what she was referring to "What did I forget" I tried saying in my usual tone "The book, K, The book you went to get" said Samuel followed by Ray "Yes K, did u not get the book" finally understanding matter I replied to them "Oh the book, they bought the wrong book. so I did not buy it" "Ok now lets go"
We took an hour to get back home partly because of the traffic and partly because of me trying to keep my mood in check. I was worried, scared that my panic episode were back but most scared about the fact that how much my emotional imbalance would effect my siblings and mom. I don't really know what happened after we got home. I remembering having the food we bought continuing with my act that everything was normal and later excusing my self with the excuse i was tired, when Ray and Samuel asked me to accompany them for a movie. Only after I got into my room I was came back from the state of imbalance and to reality.
Looking around my room I got to the table taking out one of the dairy and started writing. Coincidently it was the diary I wrote in when dad left us.
The cold and lonely winter still continues.
Even if the act that everything is ok can fool others
Deep inside the struggle and heartbreak is taking away the last bits of hope.
