Tool

Chapter Twenty

Convincing Elza had been a breeze compared to what Aurelia knew she needed to do next. She called a transport pod and was waiting outside the hospital when it arrived. As she drew up to the security in front of Jonathon's house, she was afraid for a moment that she wouldn't be allowed in, but the Worker waved her through. The pod dropped her off, and she went to the large door, hesitating before she knocked. He'd told her once that she didn't need to knock, but now she felt uncomfortable simply walking into his house.

He came almost immediately and was about to kiss her before he saw the look in her eyes. "Come in, have a drink," he said, turning and walking into the living room.

She waited until they were inside, but once the door was closed she couldn't hold back anymore. She almost spat out the question burning through her since the morning, maybe even since the night before.

"Why didn't you save him?" she said.

He turned, surprised at her vehemence. "Save him?"

"You were there; you saw what was happening. Why didn't you stop them from taking him?"

"I saved you," he said. "I got you out of there."

"Right, but you could just as easily have taken both of us. You're elite—you can do what you want, remember?"

He poured a glass of water, and she noticed his hand was shaking.

"It's not quite so simple, Aurelia. There are limits, even for me; there are things I can and can't do. Even if the only reason I can't is not to create suspicion."

"And there are things you can't do because you don't want to do them," she responded.

"You don't understand." He placed the glass on the table.

"I see that you could have saved Nicholas and you didn't. And I understand that it's better and safer for you to let him be imprisoned and then injected."

"Aurelia!" he shouted, then took a moment to regain control of himself. "I went all the way out of the dome to get you and Nicholas. Why would I have him arrested as soon as he came back in?"

"You left the dome to get me." Aurelia felt the high tremor in her voice, rather than heard it, and knew she was close to being overcome with emotion, but she couldn't stop herself. "You went to get me because you want me, and you're just so used to getting everything you want, aren't you? You've never been deprived of anything, never had anyone say no to you for anything. If you see something you want, you can just take it."

Her heart was beating fast and her stomach shaking inside her.

"Aurelia, I gave you my word."

"And I believed you, but now I find that I can't."

"So what are you saying?" His voice was quiet now, and he wasn't looking at her anymore.

"I'm saying that I can't trust you. I don't know where your motives lie, why or how you do the things you do. I know you didn't save Nicholas, and I think you probably even endangered him. I can't live with that."

She was hanging by a thread now, able to control her emotions only through sheer force of will. He didn't fight her; he simply nodded. She didn't need to say more. She turned and walked out, the door sliding shut behind her. The transport pod was waiting as she had ordered it to do, and she climbed inside. She made it all the way past security before she started crying. When the sobs came, they were loud and wrenching, and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

***

By the time she got back to the hospital, it was over. She'd had her moment of letting her emotions control her, but now she had no choice except to put them to one side. She carried the deep hurt inside her but kept it well hidden. She had work to do and couldn't afford to throw everything away because she was—what? Heartbroken? Destroyed? Both.