Better off // Izuku X Reader

Chapter 4

The next morning i had awoken with a sour taste in my mouth 

That was never a good sign 

It most likely meant that the ‘boss’ had been up to something.

I was just waiting to see what that could be

When i had fully opened my eyes i had an idea as to what happened

There had been a wheeled table with equipment scattered all over it sitting right next to my bed 

Great 

I scanned over all of the contents when my eyes noticed a particular one 

One that made my stomach turn just from the mere sight of it. Looking at it made all of those years of tourture flashback into my mind. It had caused so much pain that I would much rather tear off all of my skin with tweezers than to forever be controlled with it. 

The small remote had always brought an eerie feeling wherever it went. Everytime it was used I forgot who I was, it was not me who took control, but the device implanted into my eye. 

Normally I would cover it just so I could possibly forget about it. I didn't want to remember the trauma that came with it, and that will continue to come anytime the ‘boss’ needed to use me for one of her schemes.

Sometimes I find myself thinking back to that day I had tried to rid myself of this curse.

Flashback 

Night finally came, I've been waiting all day for it. Practically praying for it to come faster during the early hours, just so i could be alone. Earlier that day I could remember the ear piercing scream from whoever I just finished tearing apart piece by piece. It was like I was some sort of homicidal machine working against my own will, and I was tired of it, so I needed to take matters into my own hands. I didn't want to hurt anyone else. It seemed like just a game for everyone to watch and it made me sick. Little did they know I would carry these memories to the day I fell asleep in death, or maybe they just didn't care, but one thing for certain was that I could not take it anymore. After i had been released from my trance i had the privilege of seeing the aftermath, which made my head spin. When the ‘boss’ had told me that it was me who created this mess i felt the vomit rise in my throat. I saw the blood on my hands and all i wanted to do was run and hide. The ‘boss’ told me that if it was my mess I were to clean it up, so as I did I apologized to the corpse over a thousand times hoping that they would forgive me. I soon realized that I was nothing more than a utensil in the ‘boss’s’ kitchen drawer that when she wanted it was only for her dirty work.  I was done doing that for her, so that night I decided to rid myself of the problem. 

I sat alone in my room with nothing but my rapid breathing being heard. It was perfect. I watched my distorted reflection in a plastic bottle that had been placed on the only self in my small room. 

I looked at myself in disgust. Who was i? This is not who I was 8 years ago. I was a happy kid with two loving parents that would fight to their death if anything like this was to happen to me. They would make sure that I was safe 24/7, so what about now? They weren't here to protect me. I obviously could not protect myself. I was just a scared child, now a victim of abuse, and there was no way to escape unless I got rid of this device. 

I hovered my hand over my defective eye going over every detail I could see in the warped reflection. A couple of seconds had passed until I let myself finally explode in self hate. I could not take watching myself anymore and I let myself go at it. I ripped and tore with everything I had. I yelp at the horrid feeling aching at every scratch and pull. The only thought on my mind was to get rid of this ugly unwanted trait on my face.