Do Not Go Gentle

Chapter 7

{ I wanted that part of my heart to die... but then I met you, and I am so glad it is alive. }
- Kate Mackenzie

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A/N: I just wanted to quickly say that I know Annabel Lee is a poem, and not a song... but I love EAP so I figured it's fanfiction, right? Anyways... thank you for 1,000+ reads! I love you all. Thank you for all of your support. Keep reading! ~<3

"Ciel, you're acting strange."

I nod, and though I know that I do not feel any different than I have bfoe in her presence, I remember what I had thought whilst trying to drive a bullet through my own head... and I want her to know that I care for her; whether it is romantic or not. Sadly, Sebastian holds my heart in an iron grip. He is unfeeling and cold, yet he is salvation and warmth in the moments when he wants to be. And Elizabeth... well, she is the happiest person I have elver met. And it would pain me so to see that change because of me, no matter how bothersome it may become. For she will live to grow and change with time... and I know surely I will not.

"I'm fine, Elizabeth."

I say softly, and try to remember how many times I have had to utter those words while tears are threatening to burn gaping holes in my eye sockets.

"Oh, okay. Well, I suppose you're alright, then. You always are, no?"

"Of course."

I can tell she is shooing away any previous thoughts, though they still stay crouched right beneath her skin and in her veins. I can tell she is troubled, for even she can feel the fragility of life in her hands.

"Oh!"

She suddenly squeals, clapping her hands together franticly with over excitement as she pulls away from me quickly.

"I almost forgot, I must show you what I bought in London today! It is the season, after all... so all the cute little shops are selling things for lower prices. I just could not pass this up!"

She begins rummaging through a large satchel placed beside her, jabbing away about how the streets were 'so crowded', and how lovely all the lords and ladies were dressed.

"She had white ruffles on her gown... honestly. Why would you ever mix cream and white into the same dress? Maybe if you were a very small child. But they can get away with everything, you know?"

I let my gaze wander a bit, my eyes finally resting upon a vase on the hearth across from us, and I note that I don't particularly remember where it came from... though that is the case for most things here in the manor. Of course, the Mother and Father of the household should be the ones explaining and placing and buying and selling things like that. I wonder if any regular guests notice that nothing has changed in nearly six years.

I feel Elizabeth finally tap me upon the shoulder, signaling for me to take a look at the object in her hands. I turn towards her, drawing my gaze down to her lap. Nestled between her slender, graceful fingers is a small, gold box. The lid and sides are engraved and detailed with little leaves, cherries and bluebirds. The delicate leafing made of rose gold and silver. The beautiful designs continue their way down to a little turning knob on the side of the (what must be) music box. The little latch on the front is adorned with a small, set diamond, its sparkling surface gleaming in the light of the open windows.

"Look... it's a music box."

"It's quite beautiful, isn't it?"

I say, admiring the lithe little box as she vigorously nods in agreement.

"What song does it play?"

"Annabel Lee. Here, listen."

She unclasps the little gold hook, lifting up the lid. Inside, a little ballerina stands perched in an eternal pirouette, her little tulle tutu attached to the rest of her clay figure. Her pink toe shoes match her leotard and skirt perfectly. There seems to be no mistakes in the paint job on either her, or the little turning stand in which she is attached. When Elizabeth turns the golden knob on the side of the box, the music begins to play from the internal workings of the box. The brown-haired ballerina spins slowly on the baby-blue pedestal, and I can almost hear the song in amongst the clean, high notes being played.

'It was many and many a year ago
In a kingdom by the sea
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee'

Elizabeth hums along to the tune, losing her eyes with a contented smile upon her face. The music is cut short, only playing a small cut of the song. As the notes slow and finally come to a close, she opens her closed eyelids, looking relaxed and happy.

I know she notices me watching her, for she smiles brightly.

"That was lovely, Lizzie."

She giggles, setting it down on the table.

"Wasn't it?"

She looks back at me, then... and I can tell that she can see the sadness boiling in my eyes. She slowly takes me hand in hers, and though I do not love her, I feel a sort of uncanny affection for her. She matters. No matter how much of a bother she seems to be to me, she matters. She matters to me because she is the only family I have left, and I want more than anything to be able to tell her I am sorry for leaving her. Though I am not, so called 'gone' yet, it seems to me that I may as well be. It seems as though I ave been hidden back in the recesses of my mind... like my body is a mere reflection of who I am. I feel as though I am seeing the world through a fogged-up filter day after day, the colors have dulled for I already know my fate.

I slowly lean in towards her, bringing my hand up to her arm. I gently press my lips to her cheek... and though my heart drops with the longing that Sebastian should be the one gratefully receiving my kiss, I briefly close my eyes until I pull away. Her cheeks burn a bright red, her mouth and eyes opened in a surprised expression.

"C-Ciel... I-"

"Please. Don't say anything."

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In the morning, I awake to Sebastian's touch on my shoulder.

"Time to wake."

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At breakfast, I learned that Lizzie had left early in the morning, leaving me a note that read:

'My dearest Ciel,
I have departed early for I feel that I have no reason to be a potential bother. You do not laugh the way you used to, and you do not carry yourself as proudly as you are pretending. None the matter... I thought I should mention that the music box is in the front parlor. It seemed as if the little ballerina inside wanted you to keep her. I apologize if I disappoint, but I wanted you to rest, for I remember you had mentioned you were tired.
Love,
Elizabeth'

"Hmm..."

I place the letter down on the table.

"Sebastian, please see to it that all the rooms are cleaned before noon. You did read the letter from the Queen, didn't you?"

"Ah, yes. It seems there is rumored to be a killer of extreme proportions stalking the streets of London. Five bodies have been found with no sound cause of death being identified. The victims seem to have been picked at random, though I suppose we should spare a visit to the Undertaker to be certain."

"Sounds quite interesting."

My eyes slide over to my left, locking on to Sebastian's wine-colored ones. I lace my fingers together, resting my chin upon my thumbs.

"We shall leave at noon."

I am a mere watchdog.

I growl... listening.

Listening.