✎dearest, author belle ⿻

❏ʚ coffee breath part 2

*from previous chapter*

I spend the day researching nitroglycerin. It's a treatment for anginas. I chew my lip as I read through all the articles about the people who died because of anginas.

That night, Jaemin hugs me again, and whispers a fierce promise in my ears. That smell again, coffee. I wonder in my hazy mind when skinship became a thing for us.

It's alright I guess, because it's Jaemin.

~~

I leave again.

I return again.

Jaemin and I are tangled up on a couch, staring at the cheap wallpaper.

I sit up suddenly, looking at him with nothing but seriousness in my eyes.

"Why don't I see you during the day?"

He falters, a smile slipping off his face for a split second.

"Trust me Chihuahua, " I smack him with a pillow for the nickname, "I'm always around." He flashes a mysterious smile at me and goes back to humming a tune.

I huff. 

"Why does your breath smell like coffee?"

His smile grows almost feral.

Jaemin's coffee order scares me more than the nightmares.

~~

Another month goes by. December has arrived in all its icy glory and the Christmas carols annoy me with their fake cheer. I'm with Jaemin again, identical cups of hot chocolate in our hands. I am curious again, so I ask him a question.

"If you can't come meet me, can I come to meet you during the day?"

"Chihuahua I don't think that's a very good ide-"

"Please."

He relents and heaves a sigh as if what he's going to say next is physically paining to him.

"Room 317"

I grin and go back to my hot chocolate.

~~

Room 317 is empty and covered with dust. It's depressing to look at, the walls peeling as if someone ripped the posters and art off them in a rush. I can smell the death. I run out of the room with tears stinging my eyes and my stomach lurching.

Why would Jaemin tell me to go to that dead room?

When I ask him, his smile melts off his face and he responds stonily.

"I told you it was a bad idea Chihuahua."
I growl, frustrated. "Damnit Jaemin what are hiding?!"

"Chuhua just leave it alone!" he snaps back. I recoil, stung, and incredulous.

Regret fills his eyes just as I leave the room.

I'm not mad at him. Now the urge to know itches under my skin with the vigor of a hurricane.

Time to know.

~~

I ask Ma if she knows a Jaemin. She bursts into sobs, clutches my arm, and wails like it's a goddamn script. Not this time. I rip my arm out of her vulture-like grasp and snarl at her.

"NO Ma! No, you did not tell me Yesterday. I remember Yesterday and you did not tell me yesterday. So stop sniveling and lying and being so damn useless and tell me the truth!"

She stares at me like a kicked puppy.

I leave the room.

The next person I ask is the Head Nurse. She's a nice woman.

She simply stares at me and says that she's never heard of a Jaemin. I don't miss the flicker of sadness in her eyes as she lies though.

~~

I miss hanging out with Jaemin that night, choosing to break into the records room instead.

I spend all night shoveling through files upon files, looking for Jaemin's.

When I find it, the rush of accomplishment doesn't hit as it usually does. Instead, I feel horror.

Name: Na Jaemin
Age: 18
Status: Deceased ( 21st June 20XX) 

Then come the memories, and I finally Remember.

Then I fall to the ground, bleeding and screaming and seizing.

Tumor or trauma? It was the trauma.

belle's note: OMFG SKDHSKHDKSHDK NYSSA WHY WHAT WAS THE REASON