Fated Souls

FS :; 7

n. been updating silver prince lately now, so i figured i should update this as well aha.

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Shi Qingxuan pokes Shi Wudu's cheek.

For the umpteenth time that day.

Curious, and as if trying to decipher how this man was sitting infront of him. All he was aware was it was He Xuan's doing. Be it preserving the ashes or not, he wasn't really informed.

He pokes it again with a frustrated noise.

Crossing his arms over his shoulder, frowning. Even more confused when his brother doesn't scold him as usual. Merely just sitting there, and watching him get perplexed on his spot.

"Are you real?"

"This isn't a hallucination, Qingxuan."

"Dream?"

"No."

"Are you... you?" The wind master asks, furrowing his brows as the tea the ghost king left them with never touched, long forgotten. "You don't act like you..."

Shi Wudu arches an elegant brow, crossing his arms as well, "I can yell at you."

"Aiya, ge, no need for that. It's just..." Shi Qingxuan groans, plopping down gracelessly on the floor. He's confused, because why would He Xuan do such thing? Frustrated, because he can't figure it out.

Was this a trick? A trap? He wasn't sure if He Xuan could even read Shi Wudu's mind, let alone control him. Though, he trusts his brother more than the devastation, it was always better to be cautious.

Living in the mortal's realm for a hundred years had taught him well.

Never trust anyone but yourself.

"Nevermind, ge." He says instead, laughing helplessly at his state. "Do you miss Ming Guang and Ling Wen ZhenJun? I hear general Pei had already asked the Rain Master out and was finally accepted."

"Is that so?" Shi Wudu surprisingly lays down beside him, hand behind his head for a pillow as they gaze up at the ceiling. "Ol' Pei had been fancying the rain master for quite some time now. Noble Jie and I had assumed it was before he was a god."

"Really?" Shi Qingxuan arches a brow, baffled to even think that Pei Ming could be liking one woman. "So, all that sleeping with others? Was that a facade of some sort?" A facade to hide his secret feelings for a woman that had only seen him as an acquaintance if not a friend.

"Could be. Ai, that man was complicated. Always retaliating with his pride than his mind. Pei Ming was never one to not care for the people he finds special." Shi Wudu snorts quietly. Just faint enough for it not to be audible, but enough for his little brother to know there was something in it. "That's one of the best things you could ever find in a man. Not the pride, but the care."

"Should the rain master accept his proposal, there is no doubt he will be over the moon. Yelling his love for the goddess that caught his heart." The former water master adds, sighing. "He had always said he will hold a celebrations in all three realms. But with how the rain master wish not to waste merits or food, I doubt he could ever do such. Perhaps, a little persuasion could do."

Shi Qingxuan, with just a bit of explanations here and there, understood that something.

"You like him."

It wasn't a question.

"Platonic-"

"Romantically." Shi Qingxuan interjects. Murmuring softly as he tilts his head to see the soft smile on the latter's face. Shi Wudu does the same, and now as the brothers laid face to face, the wind master could see the sadness in those eyes that always held arrogance.

Now, just weak and depressed.

"Oh, ge." Shi Qingxuan sighed, scooting closer. "If only I have known-"

"You wouldn't be able to do anything." Shi Wudu laughs, broken and hopeless. "If that god loves... there's only so much that could move him."

He's right. No matter how much of a womaniser the northern deity once was, it was only merely for sexual intercourse. Feelings weren't involved, and even if it was, it was always one-sided.

And even if he had tried to do something before all those madness, there was a chance he could have ruined their friendship instead.

The only thing Shi Qingxuan could offer now was comfort. Hugging his brother in a way the latter did if he was afraid. Tight and loose all the same. So Shi Wudu was aware he was there for him, but would also leave him alone if he wishes to.

It's a hug they do ever since they were children. Once Shi Wudu had a bit of time away from being a scholar, and just be a big brother for Shi Qingxuan. He may had been so heartless, always had in the eyes of the public.

However, as he snuggles closer into Shi Qingxuan's chest, desperately trying to hide the way his eyes moistened.

He can't help but think it was all a facade as well.

"Was it wrong for me to mention rain master?" He whispers, once he feels his brother shake his head, he nods. "You, atleast has the right to know. If they tell me about their marriage, I won't-"

"It's fine, Qingxuan." Stubbornness was evident in his tone, always the stubbornness. "I'm not weak. I'm dead, yet I still force myself to live. I'm not going to break just by knowing when that bastard's going to marry-"

"Why force yourself to live?" The wind master couldn't help but stress out. "Why force - if you're forcing yourself to live, then it's not worth it is it?"

"It is." Shi Wudu snorts again, pulling away a bit. "It's worth it, you didn't follow me to death. So, perhaps I should follow you in the living world instead."

"I tried." Shi Qingxuan laughs, thinking of all the times he had tried to kill himself. Times where he was too weak, too vulnerable. "I tried many times. In many ways. I guess I just never succeed." He bites his tongue, swallowing harshly as his brother nods against his chest.

The other words didn't follow. He finds that its best to not say anything about it. Not when they're at this state. Where the once aloof, and arrogant former water master held open his heart. Realizing that it wasn't whole, only the pieces were shown. Falling apart, and in desperate need of healing.

He finds that it's better if he shouldn't talk about his past. The bad, negative parts as he stares at the eyes that stared back at him. Where the Ship Sinking Black Water stood by the doorway, gaze cold and nonchalant.

Shi Qingxuan smiles faintly.

He-xiong won't let me die.

_________

n. wow, wrote three chapters today. can't believe it. I've never written that much these past few months holy fUck.