#164

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"You're depressed!? Suicidal?? You self harm?? Omg why!?" Yeah.
I don't come from a broken home.
I don't have a list of childhood tragedies, or sexual abuse stories.
Yeah, I didn't have the best childhood, but I have it a lot better than a lot of people.
But yeah.
I'm depressed.
I'm suicidal.
I self harm.
Why?
I hate myself.
I hate myself as a person.
I hate the way I look.
The way my hair is so frizzy, how my thighs touch, the spots on my face.
I hate my glasses.
I hate how my face is so chubby.
I hate wearing tight clothes because it shows what I try to hide.
I hate wearing bikinis and crop tops in case someone sees my stomach.
I hate how everything about me is big.
I hate sharing clothes with my friends in case they dont fit.
I hate telling people my size in a shop in case they're much smaller.
I hate being fat. I hate being ugly.
I hate looking like this.
In all honesty, I'm the kind of person I hate.
I'm the biggest bitch youll ever meet.
I hate how my friends are drifting away, because im not interesting enough to keep them.
I hate how I'm not confident.
I hate lying; but I do it.
I hate faking; but I do that too.
I hate myself.
That's why.

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