It's may 2020 my dad got laid off from his job, he's panicking and since then, he's paced across the house, hitting himself, saying unimaginable things....is he..gone? No it can't be, he will be okay, he's strong, he knows we'll be okay, but i didn't know what he was really thinking. he didn't know we would be okay, he thought that we wouldn't be able to take care of our family, he thought we would be in the streets, but he didn't know that's not what would happen. Our aunt we haven't seen in 5 years shows up at our door and visits for a bit, later on my dad falls asleep, he was at peace when he was sleeping so we let him be, my aunt leaves later that night and stays at a hotel considering it's already late and she lives 3 hours away. next day she comes back to our house and stays with me and my 16 year old sister and 13 year old sister at the time while i was 10 yes that means i'm 12 now but that's besides the point. So my aunt is with me and my sisters while my mom took my dad to a hospital and after two days she comes back, my dad is still at the hospital and a week later he comes back, still the same, he's going insane, i miss my dad, my best friend, the one that would have stay overs with me and watch movies and have snacks with me when my friends couldn't, the one that would let me put scrunchies sand hair clips in his hair for fun, but now... he's dissolving. Now it's June 11th, he's been "insane" for a month now, my mom decides that we would go to stay with out aunt, uncle, 8 year old cousin(at the time), and our 17 year old cousin for a couple days but would leave my dad at the house because she was scared. I didn't want to leave him, i knew it wasn't a good idea. On our way leaving i realize i want my blanket, i go back in the house and get it, i say "bye dad, i love you so much, we'll be back in a couple days, i'll miss you but we can play game pigeon when i get there because i'll have wifi" he says " okay sweetheart i'm going to take a nap so i will play when i can" i didn't know that would be my last goodbye, i thought it would be a couple hour nap, but it was my last goodbye, and it would be a forever nap.. later at our cousins(haven't seen them in 5 years) we have a campfire while me and my 8 year old cousin go to play in the basement, a couple hours later my family comes in the house crying, i thought someone just got burnt, so me and my cousin rushed up the stairs worried. But i heard something that shook me to the bone "i can't believe he's gone" says my mom, i break down, " WHAT?! NO THIS ISN'T REAL, HE HAS TO BE ALIVE" i screamed, cried, sobbed until my eyes felt heavy. She found out because she had our neighbor check on him but he was dead....Hours later i text my best friend " something insane just happened but i don't think i wanna tell you what happened yet, i just need you to be here for me, okay?" she asks me over to tell her and eventually i call her, sobbing, i tell her what happened, she was always there for me, i'm grateful for her, days after it happened, nothing felt real, i wanted to disappear, i wanted it to all be over, i never wanted to go back to my house, there was trauma i wasn't ready to deal with, so me and one of my sisters stayed at a close friends house for a week. Eventually we went home. We couldn't afford our house anymore so 6-7 months after it happened we moved out, now we live by our close friends that we stayed at their house for a week. Now the house we live in we have been in for a year now, i'm starting to get used to it but i miss my old home, i had lived there all of my life, so many memories..gone...everything.is.gone
SHIT.
