Madalaine prov
I woke up to vanessa turning in her sleep I giggled as she always does this every morning. I went to reach my phone and I noticed my sleeve was rolled up. " fuck" I whispered to my self and rolled down my sleeve making the cuts disappear from sight.
I climbed out of bed to go bathroom I was getting out my clothes and stepped into the shower the shower felt comferting and warm that I let my mind go my muscles relax.
I was about to get out after 5 minutes of showering when I relised my sleeve was up what if nessa saw my cuts and leaves me while I'm in the shower, I can't lose her I knows it only been a week but I can't loose her.
Madalaine raced out of the shower leaving the water running putting on her robe and ran out the bathroom door slamming it wide open. The door caused a loud bang waking up and scarring vanessa.(nessa) - baby are you ok did something happen. Vanessa got up and went over to madalaine to see if she was OK (mads)- yea no babe I'm fine I just saw a spider in the shower. Vanessa walked in to the bathroom and turned off the shower and came back into the room with a confused look. " there was no spider in there bubba are u sure that's what happened " Vanessa looked deep into mads eyes making madelaine look anywhere but Vanessa
.
Vanessa prov
I knew mads didn't see a spider because normally when she does she would of screamed no matter what or where she was. " come on babe let's go get u changed I'll take you to veggie grill for lunch later yea and first I'll take you shopping?". Mads starting smiling wide and jumping like a little kid running to the closet to get changed.
At the mall
Me and mads got to the mall and went into target cause why not I guess. While we were in there the trolley only had things with harry potter things. " baby you don't need all this" I chuckled " bubbbbaaaaaa I do please I'll keep them at my house and besides look a ron weasley candy dispenser" I rolled me eyes and went to go pay for them until mads stopped me. " no babe there my things I'll pay" I held her cheek and kissed it gently " babe I'll pay its ok "
Mads prov ⚠️ mation self harm ⚠️
I don't deserve vanessa she's just the perfect human been ever. Wait what if she's doing this because she saw my cuts and cause she feels bad but what if it's cause she just loves me but what if she only getting me these so when she leave she won't feel that bad for me because she bought me these. My anxiety was rising higher and higher.
" babe can we just go home please and go veggie grill another day" Vanessa looked at me with a knowing smile she knows I can get anxiety but she doesn't know how bad it's gotten or that's why I cut i know a stupid reason but my anxiety has gotten worse to the point I was also diagnosed with depression. Just when they get really bad cutting makes me forget and it's calms me it makes me focus on that I guess.
At home no one's prov
The two girls got home mads ran up to vanessas room and started packing her bag. " baby are u leaving did I do something wrong " Vanessa asked on the edge of tears seeing girlfriend just packing ready to leave. " nessie no I'm not leaving well not right now I was gonna go to mine and get more clothes and change my old ones. " but why didn't u tell me in the car I would of washed your clothes and took you home "
Mads looked at Vanessa and then at her arm." I'm sorry baby I was getting in the house and thought I should pack then tell you" vanessa walked up to mads and kissed her on the lips the kiss lasted 2 minutes stopping as the girls needing air. " babe I was thinking why don't u move in? " Vanessa asked swaying side to side with a smile. " madelaine looked at her with a smile and nodded with great excitement. "I'll love that baby"
Time jump one week later
Madelaine moved in officially all her stuff was now at Vanessa's. She would say this week was gonna be the best week but last night wasn't so great.
Madelaine prov ⚠️self harm⚠️
Vanessas been gone for 2 hours and she only needed to get sugar. What if she's leaving me or what if she's found someone else I trust vanessa but I won't blame her because no one wants to date a person with high anxiety and depression. I waited for vanessa to respond but she didn't . I walked to the bathroom and pulled our the razor blade I took a deep breath a stared cutting everywhere on my arms and legs this wasn't to deep it was only to get me to focus on that pain then to focus on all my thoughts.
I looked at my self I wasn't focusing on where vanessa was I was focusing on the pain and now realising if vanessa found out she would definitely leave me. GOD EVERYTHING I DO OR THAT HAPPENS I WORRY ABOUT. I suddenly heard the door ow shit. I put everything back on and put the razor away and walked down stairs.
Vanessa prov
I just got home I know I needed only sugar but I found this really nice ring for mads I got I love you forever ingraved on it as well as some chocolates. This was a welcome to your new home gift . I saw mads walking down with tear stained eyes. " bubba are you ok " I walked over to her and hugged her tightly but as I did that she flinched. " you didn't answer your phone I thought u only needed sugar but you took 2 hours " mads sniffled" I'm sorry my phone died I didn't know I was that long I also go u a home warming gift.
I walked to the bag and gave her the chocolates as well as the ring. " Vanessa baby you didn't need to " she said kissing me on the cheek. " but I did baby come on I wanna take a nap" I grabbed her hand running up the stairs jumping on the bed " sweet dreams nessie" " sweet dreams baby".
