Fallen Star

Chapitre 3

If you ask a drug addict why does he harm himself, he will simply reply that 'one takes drugs to feel alive. You only have to overcome the fall with the next peak'.

This time Lisa didn't had it in her, she had consciously played with fire and take the only drug she knew she could never get her hands on anymore. What was the purpose now?

The moment she stepped in her house she felt like crushing, her head hanging and wrap arms around herself.

She went on like a ghost in the house, not minding the cats' antics. Suddenly, she took note of the sound of a melody she didn't know she was playing on her keyboard.

The sound came in, entering her soul like a light able to take away the remaining pain in her chest. It was a simple combination of notes, the first one she had learned. She remembered the day Rosé had mimicked the movement with her own hand over hers to show her how to play. She couldn't get that warm feeling in her chest anymore, no matter how hard she tried to there was only sorrow in her now.

That night she had write and compose in one take, her sheets stained with her tears. She was drained from any energy left, that song had sucked in everything leaving an empty shield.

**

'Lisa! What the hell is that song you just put out! You can't just release stuff without telling the board. And where are you for fuck sake?!' the line cut off her manager's voice cutting like a venom.

Lisa deleted the message, absently lying on the floor engulfed in the darkness of her living room.

'Lisa... it's Jen unnie... I'm with Jisoo and we're a bit worried you didn't replied to our text nor our calls. Is everything okay? Call us back please, any of us. Love you monkey.'

She felt sorry for them, they didn't deserve to waste their time feeling anxious for her. She was a pity.

'Lisa, it's mama. I'm happy that you decided to get out. I was expecting to catch you on the phone before you left for your trip with the girl but it's ok,' her mom's voice wobbled a bit as she could sense how relieved her mom was to imagine her daughter finally leaving her house and enjoying her life again.

In reality, Lisa had lied to her mom about going on a trip so she wouldn't have to be concerned for her wellbeing.

'Hi Manoban, wassup! I've got some new stuffs for you. Why don't you call me? it's been 3 weeks since MAMA. Are you in rehab or something?'

Lisa ended it there. She had had enough. She didn't need new drugs to experiment. She didn't have no need for that anymore. She didn't smoke anymore, she didn't want to do anything anymore. She was lifeless.

Her days were just like her nights, empty. No dream, no sleep, no thoughts. She had been avoiding everyone, her phone always on voice mail. This was her only activity lately, emptying the last string that kept her close to the world outside.

She had dismissed her maid telling her the exact same thing she told her mom. She won't be there for the weekend, she was going on a trip with Jensoo.

Lily came up to her face, licking her face tenderly. she remained apathic to the cat until Leo joined, followed by Lego. She turned her head towards the clock.

8pm.

"Alright," she simply answered the cats, her voice numb.

She got herself to the kitchen, grabbing the cats' food container, feeding the cat generously not minding the amount of food, petting each one of them in the process.

Her feet lazily dragged her to the little cabinet back in the living room where she served herself a glass of dark liquor. She faced herself in the mirror on the wall, scanning the dark circles under her eyes and the unusually pale skin. She looked awful, just like a corpse.