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TWELVE, it must have been love
italics — rues narration
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the next day, liana showed up to elliot's house unannounced. she needed answers, her brain kept her awake all night debating whether or not elliot loved her or if he was bluffing. she hoped he meant it, that he wasn't just saying it to say it. but all odds felt stacked against her.
she knocked on his front door, waiting patiently until the knob turned. surprisingly, it wasn't elliot but ziayla. she smiled warmly at liana, "hi babe, you here to see elliot?" she asked. liana nodded, but didn't say much more. she didn't want to reveal what happened last night to his cousin, because she knew ziayla would get mad at elliot for it.
she absolutely adored liana and considered her to be one of the best girlfriends elliot has had. she was kind and patient and it showed a lot, even to ziayla. she could tell how much liana loved elliot and how much elliot loved her, but there was a clear disconnect between the two.
the space got even bigger when liana entered elliot's room.
she was completely taken back to see rue sitting on elliot's floor, her hand extended out passing elliot a blunt. they both paused at the sound of the door opened and rue nearly dropped the blunt when she saw it was liana. elliot felt his mouth run dry, he struggled to even speak.
liana felt like her heart was trying to come out of her throat. she feared that if she went to yell, she would spew out her guts and die right there. she swallowed the lump in her throat and pointed to rue as she looked elliot. "why is she here? and why is..." she pointed to the blunt, but couldn't even finish her sentence.
she was struggling to connect the dots in her head. was rue there the whole time? did elliot lie to her? did rue contribute to his relapse?
even more questions filled her head and all liana could do was turn around and exit the apartment. elliot followed quickly after her, his head not even catching up with his feet until they both made it outside.
it was nearly dark out and they could barely see each other, but elliot could see the tears forming in lianas eyes when he turned her around.
"was she there the whole time?" she asked. elliot stayed silent, not knowing what to say. if he lied again, it would be a bigger mess, but he was scared to tell the truth. "yes." liana felt like she had been punched in the stomach. he lied to her, count one. "you know she's reported a missing person right? and you lied to me about seeing her, or hearing from her." she crossed her arms over her chest, her demeanor now changing.
she was angry, she felt it building up in her. "and let me ask you the million dollar question elliot. is she the reason you relapsed?" she asked.
elliot wanted to back down, just melt into the sidewalk and disappear right then and there. but there was no escape, he had to own up to everything at that moment. "is she?" she asked again.
elliot nodded, making liana scoff and walk away again. elliot followed after her like a dog, "liana please." he pleaded. he felt completely helpless, he just wanted to die in that moment. everything was crashing down right in front of him and he had no choice but to sit back and watch it all come crumbling down.
"how am i gonna be in a relationship with you if you're lying to me half of the time?"
"how is any of this a big deal? i smoked a little bit of weed and tried to help rue out." he said. liana furrowed her brows out of pure shock, "are you fucking stupid elliot? you lied to my face when i asked you straight out about rue, you lied to me when i asked you if you were hiding something from me. you relapsed and it's was rues fault and you expect me to be cool about this?" she asked.
"oh, and not to mention that you told me you loved me last night and didn't even fucking mean it." she spat. elliot's hurt showed on his face, "i did mean it!" he said. "no, you didn't elliot. you ran out like a bitch and ghosted me until i came here. now you're fucking sorry and playing innocent because all your lies and shit are coming to the surface."
"i'm not playing innocent, i know what i did." elliot fought back. "you couldn't even own up to it when i asked you the first time, elliot! some kind of boyfriend you are." she said. all the yelling and harsh words were getting to elliot until he ultimately spit out something he probably shouldn't have. "so fucking go then. i'm not gonna argue with you liana, you're not worth my energy."
there was a lot more that could have been said or done on lianas part but she had to admit that what he said really hurt. she couldn't even fathom how she felt.
liana didn't say another word, but nodded her head and walked off with tears actively pouring down her face. this time, elliot didn't try to stop her.
she felt stupid for everything she did for him. she wondered why she spent so much time, so much of her energy on him when he just told her straight to her face that she wasn't worth his. she didn't stop crying until she got home and had to face her mom, and even then her cries just got louder.
elena held her daughter with sad eyes, not knowing what happened but knowing liana was extremely upset. she kept muttering the words 'he didn't mean it,' over and over, although elena couldn't decipher it to save her life.
the worst part about addiction is that even when something, or someone gives you enough willpower to stop, it's never going to be enough to fully get the urge out of your head. it'll claw at your brain like a dog at a door until you eventually give in to what it wants. those two seconds of nothingness.
but after a while, your brain starts to cut you off from things that make you happy. you'll rely on whatever your fix is to make you happy. and even if you find something other than drugs that makes you happy, it won't last forever.
but something is always there for you in the long run.
