Love & Geckos (multiple-author collaboration)

Chapter 12: Sydney

It was a terrible idea to come to the mall tonight of all nights. Valentine's Day. Gaudy pink assaulted her eyesight and loved-up couples pranced around holding hands and sharing kisses. It made Sydney sick. Sick ... and deeply jealous. Love. Everyone was loved. Except her.

She eyed the bustling, loud food court through her thick double eyelashes—a curse and a boon, depending on how you looked at it, and if you asked the girls in her class, the only thing that was beautiful about her. Girls were mean, was the conclusion she'd reached since she was all but seven and Karen Croft had tackled her down just 'cause it was fun.

"Why are we here again?" She glared at her brother, who was nowhere near her at that particular moment. He sat on the stone bench on the other side of the fountain with their neighbour, Jordan.

Her eyes narrowed at him – at his back. He was dressed in what their Granny would describe as his Sunday best. A pressed shirt Granny had gifted him for Christmas before they left Australia, paired with chinos she'd helped him pick out from dad's giant wardrobe for the night. He'd even borrowed a tie from dad's closet for the occasion. She'd wondered why then.

"What's with the tie, D?" she'd asked as he'd appeared in the lounge where she'd slouched in her lime-yellow summer dress and missed Sydney – the city she was named after – and mum's cooking the most. In fact, she missed mum. She missed her school there – not that she was a popular kid or had many friends. She even missed the scorching summer that was slowly coming to an end there.

"No reason." Dakota had shrugged. She might have crossed her arms and pouted at that response, forcing him to admit, "Ok, fine, we're going to the mall on V-day and there might be people from our school there. I wanna make an impression, alright?"

"Impression, my ass!" she now mumbled, wishing she could bore two holes into the back of his perfect little head. Dakota was always better at everything than she was. It wasn't fair. "Look at him sitting there laughing like a – like a—" She couldn't think of an offending word that fit. It wasn't Dakota's fault that ever since she'd come to realise what Valentine's Day stood for – love in all its gloriousness – she somewhat loathed the day, for always reminding her of what she never had and probably never will.

"Why are we going to the mall of all places for dinner?" she'd complained, getting in the car minutes after. Dad's shiny old BMW, if one-year-old was old. A car their mum would kill for instead of the fifteen-year-old thing she was driving.

"Do you know how to cook?" Dakota had fired. And no, no she didn't. She didn't know how to do many things, no thanks to homes in two different hemispheres and two different parenting styles. She preferred Mum's. In all honesty, Dad's parenting style sucked. In fact, it was nonexistent. Exhibit: Today.

"Can't believe dad ditched us for a date," she'd grumbled while Dakota struggled to drive on the right side of the road towards the mall, side-eyeing her and saying, "Wouldn't you?"

"Why did we even come here?" She had sunk further in her seat.

"'Cause we're underage and they share custody. Mum gets us for half the year and dad gets us the other half. This is his half. Cheer up will you? It's only another four months to go."

"Easy for him to say," she now mumbled, sitting there all by her lonesome on the other side of the fountain, on a cold stone bench, all because her brother, the only person she really had who was hers told her to 'beat it' earlier when Jordan-the-neighbour had started walking their way.

Between stewing at Dakota for forcing her to come to the mall and eat junk food for dinner – the only thing she didn't want to complain about – she felt sick among the crowd. In fact, she snarled at the couples about them, more lurking in booths and tables in the food court inside. She eyed the gaudy decorations and the obvious consumerism of the festival. But somewhere in the pit of her stomach, she felt deep pain, a longing like she'd never had before, the reason for her wanting to fly back to the one place that felt like anything like home. Sydney. And a boy named Conrad.

Conrad who doesn't know I exist, and likely never will, not if we keep hopping countries! She chewed on the last of her fries as tears slipped down her cheeks. She hadn't wanted to sit inside the crowded food court, not with her older brother anyway, not when the mean girls from school she was still getting re-used could be lurking about with their beaus, all kissy-face and lovey-dovey.

She felt her chin tremble and tears lick her eyes. "Why can't I have one too? Why can't I have—?" Conrad? Or anybody for that matter?"

She looked up at the chemically-teal fountain, with its cute little cherubs mounted up the top. Cupids! Bloody cupids everywhere. They were cute though, what with water spewing out of their arrows. She wiped her cheeks on her thick jacket, hating her dress choice. She was freezing. "Why can't I have it too?" She mouthed at the child-like figures, with their ear-to-ear teal smiles and their fluffy wings. "Why can't I have that?" She couldn't help the pang of jealousy that hit her. Dakota was holding the other boy's hand.

He's found someone too – the only person who could have understood her longing to be loved, to be wanted. She could no longer hold back her tears and her vision blurred. She turned back to the cupids. "Why can't I—?" Have love too.

Unable to hold back anymore, she rushed out of the small courtyard, back through the crowded food court, bumping into people as she tried to hide her tear-streaked face, all the way until she reached the restrooms and locked herself up in a cubicle. Her bag, forgotten by the fountain side.

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evacharya
Eva is a Nepali-Australian who has been making up stories for a long time. As a two-time Watty winner, she has a lot to offer readers. She mostly writes adult contemporary romance, with realistic MCs, but also loves tinkering with other genres, such as sci-fi and retellings in YA. Cammy and Mathias are characters from her 2021 ONC attempt, Love Bound. Do check it out if you like them here!