Vulnerable

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When I get out of the shower and change I grab my computer. That guilty pit in my stomach wants to help them no matter how dangerous it is. I re hack into the company and look up Clint's tracker it is still he either discarded it or died. I hope it's option one. I rush out into the living room. "We need to go" I say sternly to a confused Kate. "Technical difficulties?" She asks nervously. "I think" I add. She springs up and showers and changes then we head out. "Take the keys" she says "You know where we are going" she adds. We get into the car and hand her the computer. "Take this and tell me the directions" I say as I put the key into the ignition. "Got it" she says, clicking a few things until the computer pulls up the specific directions.

We drive in a tense silence. "It's moving," Kate says with relief. "Ok" I say as we approach the place it is near. This drive took 5 hours man. We hop out and rush over to the signal. The alley way is empty but I have a strong feeling there. Me and Kate walk into the alley way and stand there for a minute before I am taken. Someone places the hand over my mouth and drags me to the ground. "Ow!" I yell in response. "(Y/N)? What the fuck are you doing here I told you to stay" Yelena says helping me up.  "I am going against your word" I say confidently. "Me and Kate are perfectly able to help you guys out of this alleyway" I say Clint and Natasha hop down and stand in front of us. "So where are we off to next?" I ask nervously. Clint scans both Kate and I. "Fine" he gives in "You can help".

"Finally you trust me" I say sarcastically. "Ok let's not start fights" Clint says. "Ok" I add. "You brought the car right?" He asks "Ya?" I answer in a confused tone. "Great" he says, grabbing my wrist and leading everyone to the car. "Come on man every time" I groan. "My wrists are over you grabbing them" I say sarcastically. Everyone chuckles. "What?" Clint adds "Your wrists are very grabable and you never listen so people drag you" he says. "Alright then I didn't need the brutal truth" I say, opening the car door and scooting over to the last seat. "Alright so hopefully you'll be silent the rest of the mission" Clint adds sarcastically. "I very much will" I say in a fake angry voice. 

"So we weren't prepared for this mission and we are all going to die" Clint says "The fuck?" I burst out. "Haha you can't keep your mouth shut" Clint says. "I want to help you" I say in a truthfully sad voice. "Aww you're so precious" Natasha adds in a fake caring voice. "Why does everyone like to pick on me?" I ask in an actual sad voice. "Because you're more vulnerable than you like to admit" Clint says which silences me. "(Y/N)?" Clint asks after 30 minutes of silence. I don't answer. I am busy planning stuff in my mind, mostly my embarrassing death after the comment Clint made. 

I can't be vulnerable. I just can't physically isn't in me to be like that but maybe I am naturally weak. That would make sense. I am always getting mad over the smallest of things. 

"(Y/N) you motherfucker speak!" Yelena yells. "Huh?" I answer. "What?" I answer quietly. "We didn't mean it," Clint says. I don't answer, I am already back in my head. Then I feel Kate's hand gently take mine. I look out the window to hide my smile. "How far are we from the base?" Kate asks curiously. It's been about 3 hours since I last talked. "Uh, 2 more hours" Clint adds, looking at my computer screen for directions. "Cool" Kate adds sitting back in her seat. "This is more of a very lame road trip" I mumble. "What?" They all say turning to me. "Nothing" I say turning back to the window. They finally figure out I am not going to talk and turn on the radio which doesn't work because we are in the middle of NOWHERE in a car full of people I could possibly kill. 

I mean I could jump out the window. I start looking at the window in attempts to figure out how but give up halfway through and go back to planning. Window, car, crash. Crash I repeat in my head. Nah that wouldn't work. "Dammit the computer died," Natasha says. "Here" I say, handing her a portable computer charger. "It lasts for a day so you don't have to worry" I say. "Thanks" she says with a smile. "No problem" I say back, not meeting her smile. 

The rest of the 2 hour drive was quiet and lame. The silence was starting to annoy me. Now I know I don't like being in silence for long periods of time. We finally get there and park around the back of this massive base. "Who exactly are we killing in the base?" Kate asks as she looks at the massive building in awe. "We take down the whole building so they can't give us any more threatening missions" Yelena says, opening the car door. We all hop out and plan Kate and me to be a duo and then Clint, Yelena and Natasha were trio. 

"Split up" Clint calls as we go different directions in the base. 

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