Y/n Odinsdottir

Chapter Thirty-Four

TW: self-harm

*narrator pov*
-moments before-
Peter left your room, and you sat on your bed to think.
You realised, Peter was right. They wouldn't watch you die instead of telling you the truth. So maybe you needed to threaten death to get them to be honest.
Ignoring your wheelchair, you limped out of the room, towards the kitchen.
Loki and Bucky were in there talking, but they both shut up when they saw you.
Neither of them said anything to you.
You glared at them as you stumbled over to some drawers.
You opened the top one, where the cutlery was.
Your hand hovered over the knives, and you pulled out the sharpest one.
You looked up at Loki and Bucky again, and they were watching you closely.
Bucky was staring at you intensely, while Loki still looked sad. You hadn't spoken to him since you had upset him the day before.
You lowered the knife next to your side and left the kitchen.
"Y/n what are you doing with that?" Bucky called.
He got up when you didn't respond, and Loki followed him.
You returned to the hallway where your bedroom was, but headed for the bathroom.
Bucky saw, and sprinted to the door before you could close it in front of him. He put his foot in the way.
"What are you doing" he hissed through the small crack in the door.
You stepped away from the door and he pushed his way into the room.
He slowly stepped towards you, then made a quick move for the knife.
You dodged him, and raised the knife up to your neck. 
"Y/n..." Bucky said cautiously.
You pushed the knife some more, so the cold sharp metal was touching your skin.
"I want to know" you whispered.
"Please don't" Loki begged.
"Then tell me."
Tony and Peter appeared at the door, but you ignored them.
"Y/n. Put the knife down" Bucky said.
You slowly shook your head.
"Not until you tell me... everything."
"I can't" Bucky claimed.
So you turned to Loki.
"It's too much to explain. We should wait for Thor."
You turned to Tony.
"I expect you'll say the same?" you asked him.
"I'm sorry..." Tony started.
"BULLSHIT!" you screamed "None of you are sorry!"
"Please put the knife down" Bucky begged again, and you made eye contact with him.
As you stared into his eyes, he reached one hand and touched your back. His other hand reached for the arm with the knife. His hand landed on your elbow and pulled it back. You lowered your arm and his hand got closer to yours, and the knife.
Still staring at him, you bit your lip and suddenly pulled your arm away from him. You took the knife and slit your wrist.
"Tell me or I swear to god I will do it again" you spat at Bucky, ignoring the blood dripping down from your wrist.
"Come on y/n don't do this" Bucky said.
"Please" Loki cried, tearfully.
"Just put it down" Tony stepped towards you.
Peter was staring at the pool of blood forming on the floor.
No one said anything else so you raised your arm again and swiped it down again.
"NOO!" Loki screamed.
But before you could cut yourself again, Bucky put his metal arm in the way. The knife hit that instead, but it did no damage. Bucky tackled the knife off you and dropped it to the floor. You instantly bent down to pick it up, but he kicked it away from you. He pushed you back and you fell so you were sitting, leaning against the wall.
"NOOOO!" you objected and tried to get up.
Loki knelt down next to you and held your hand, while Bucky held your bleeding wrist.
Tony and Peter bent down in front of you and held each of your feet down on the floor, so you couldn't kick at them.
"NOOOO!" you screamed and struggled "get off me!"
Bucky grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom closet and pulled out some bandages.
He disinfected the wound first, then started to wrap it up.
You screamed and cried the entire time.
"NO! I just wanna- I just wanna know. Just please tell me! I want to know!"
The others were silent as they held you down and Bucky took care of your wrist.
When he had, they all simultaneously let you go.
You leant against the wall and your face was burning up as you cried.
You looked up at the others, all standing around you.
You leaned forward, then banged your head back against the wall.
"You never give up do you" Bucky groaned as he bent down and grabbed the back of your head before you could do it again.
He picked you up and you didn't fight him as he carried you out the bathroom. You had completely given up at this point.
You ran into Steve in the hallway.
"Hey I heard her screaming. What happened? God Bucky did you do that?" Steve pointed at your wrist.
"No Steve. She did."
"What? Is that true?"
You rolled your eyes and looked away from him.
"Why would you do that?" Steve asked.
"She wants us to tell her about her memories" Bucky explained.
"Did you?" Steve looked worried.
"No."
"Thank you."
"No Steve. He didn't" you faced him "but I know everything."
Steve looked nervously at Bucky. Bucky shook his head.
"No she doesn't" Bucky assured.
"Yes- yes I do! Bucky kissed me Steve! And now I know everything."
"Little bitch" Bucky sighed and put you on the floor.
You stumbled and Steve held you up straight.
"That true?" Steve asked.
"Yes. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I was curious" Bucky apologised.
"Right. Okay. I forgive you."
You looked at Steve and your jaw dropped slightly.
"What? No! What the hell Steve?! Another guy kissed me and that's how you react. Do you even love me?"
"Of course I do" Steve kissed you "do you love me?"
You cupped his cheek in your hand and kissed him passionately on the lips.
"Does that answer your question?" you whispered in his ear, then you kissed his cheek as you pulled away from him.
"You love me..." Steve grabbed your cut wrist and held it up "you don't do this."
"Sorry Steve."
"Your brother will be back soon, okay? But you do not do this again."
"Sorry Steve" you repeated.
"Come on. You're gonna sleep in my room tonight."
"Okay."
Bucky watched as Steve took you into his room and shut the door.
Loki came up next to Bucky.
"I'm going back to Asgard. Tonight. She doesn't want me here anymore. So I'm going to help Thor. Look after her until I get back."
"Looks like Steve's got it covered." Bucky walked down to his room and slammed the door behind him. His anger (jealousy) was rising again.
Loki left the compound, and returned to Asgard.
Tony and Peter were trying to clean the bathroom of your blood. Or, Tony was standing there while Peter scrubbed the floor.
"Is she gonna be okay?" Peter asked.
"She'll be fine. Look kid, you don't have to do that."
"No it's okay Mr Stark. Someone has to."
"Yeah but... not you."
"Mr Stark, what if she does something like that again.?"
"We won't let her."
"Really?"
"Yeah obviously. We're not gonna sit around and let her do that. We'll help her. Now go home kid."
"But... the blood-"
"Ill take care of it. Now go before I call your Aunt May. Which to be honest I don't have a problem with."
"No don't, I'll go." Peter walked out, and approached your room to say goodbye.
But he heard Steve talking to you in his room.
He opened the door slightly, but neither you nor Steve noticed him.
You were sitting on the bed, crossed legged, facing Steve.
He had your chin in his hand.
"That was really selfish y/n. Don't ever do that again."
"I'm sorry. I won't."
"I also don't want you to talk to Bucky again. Not unless you're with other people. If he talks to you when you're alone, you walk away."
"Why?"
"He is dangerous. You need protecting from him. He tried to kill you. And he kissed you when he knows we're together. I don't trust him."
"I thought you were friends."
"We are. But you're not. Okay?"
"O-okay."
"I think you should apologise for kissing him."
You leaned forward on the bed and kissed Steve.
Peter quickly and quietly pulled the door shut, just in case.
He left the compound without telling anyone what he saw.