Y/n Odinsdottir

Chapter Forty-Three

*narrator pov*
A few days later and you hadn't made your decision.
You had barely spoken to Steve or Bucky, and you were worried you were slowly losing them both.
You were sitting at dinner with everyone, except Bucky and Steve. Conveniently.
"So y/n. Have you made your decision yet?" Tony asked.
You sighed and sunk down in your chair. Then you shook your head.
"I don't see why it's so hard" Nat said. "Pick who you love more."
"I don't know who I love more though."
"I think you should pick Steve. I mean he's more recent. You haven't dated Bucky in almost 100 years" Nat pointed out.
"But that's because things kept getting in the way."
"Okay why don't you lay out the pros and cons of each guy. That could help you decide" Pepper suggested.
"Pros of Bucky..." Loki started.
"He's always been there for me" you nodded. "He was there when I hurt myself. And he was there when I got kidnapped..."
"Yes but then he tried to kill you" Thor added.
"No. I mean the second time. Although yeah he did technically find me the first time..."
"Hold up. You were kidnapped a second time?!" Loki exclaimed.
"Right. You don't know. Stark had another party and I kind of got drugged again. Then I shot someone which was a bit traumatising at the time but eh, I'm over it now."
"Oh my god. Are you okay?" Thor asked.
"Yeah I'm fine. Like I said. I'm over it." You looked at Loki, who was pulling a very odd face. "Are you okay, Loki?"
"You killed someone. I'm so proud of you" he smiled.
"Yeah... I also killed a lot Chitauri..."
"They don't matter. But you killed a human..."
"Okay can we not celebrate that" Tony interrupted.
"Yes. Let's get back to the list. Any more pros for Bucky?" Wanda asked.
"Don't think so. Just that he's always been there, even though he's not my boyfriend. Or he wasn't at the time."
"Cons?"
"Well he did try to kill me. But from what I understand that wasn't his fault?"
The others nodded.
"Right. So that doesn't count for much. We haven't dated in ages. And I guess he also told me to pick Steve too. So that could be a problem. He's also super annoying. Like when he took my clothes, and poured a bucket of water over me."
"Yeah but you put a paint and glitter bomb in his punching bag" Tony pointed out.
"Fair point."
"Okay do pros for Steve" Pepper said.
"He, uh, bought me that necklace for the first Stark party I went to. Because I said I really wanted it when we were shopping. And... he got me to own up to my mistakes. Oh and he insisted I stick by his side so he could protect me. Which was really sweet."
"Hang on" Tony objected. "What mistakes did he get you to own up to?"
"Oh you know when I cut myself. He helped me see that was really selfish. And I apologised. And also at the... at the party. He told me to stay in my room but I didn't listen. And I got myself kidnapped. He was trying to look out for me and I got in trouble because I did something he told me not to... why are you guys looking at me like that?"
The others faces had all changed. They were all looking down, sad, angry maybe?
"So... Steve told you that it was your fault you got drugged and kidnapped?" Tony asked.
You had never really thought about it like that. But yes essentially he had said that.
"And y/n" Loki added. "Cutting yourself was not your fault either. You were upset. You weren't being selfish."
"Um. I- "
You didn't really know what to say. They had a point.
But that couldn't have been what Steve meant. He wouldn't have meant that.
"You know, Steve should have been with you" Tony continued. "Whether it was at the party or not. He shouldn't have left you alone. If he really wanted to protect you, he would've been with you."
"He... when I went to the party, he was flirting with Natasha... I saw him."
You looked up at Nat, who was looking a bit worried.
"Is that true?" Tony asked.
"Yes. But it was just playful banter y/n. It didn't mean anything. We've been doing it for years" Nat argued.
"Okay..."
"If those were the pros, I'd like to move onto Steve's cons" Loki said.
"Steve wouldn't get me crutches because he wanted me to be with him all the time. Then he told me to stay locked up in my room whenever he wanted to go out without me. And he told me I wasn't allowed to talk to Bucky... oh my god I'm so stupid."
"Yes" Loki nodded, and you slapped his arm.
"Steve... Steve is not a good boyfriend."
"Does that mean you've made your decision?" Tony wondered.
"I was not happy with Steve. He made me feel bad about myself. He didn't... support me. Bucky supported me. And it wasn't even his job."
"So Bucky?" Pepper asked.
"But Bucky left. He told me to choose Steve. That's the reason I was so quick to make the last decision. Because Bucky made it for me. He told me to be with Steve because I said I loved him. But..."
You paused. Thinking about whether to say it.
"Go on..." Loki urged.
"I love Bucky. More than I love Steve. By far. I... I've gotta go."
You shot up from the table and ran off to find them.
The avengers sat in silence for a moment.
"I'm glad that's over" Loki sighed. "I always knew it would be Bucky. I know my sister, and she definitely loved him more."
Clint was grinning widely while Nat was rifling around in her pockets.
"What are you smiling about?" Tony asked.
Nat slapped fifty bucks into Clint's hand and she sighed disappointedly.
"Oh nothing. I was just right. As always" Clint smirked as he slipped the money into his pocket.
———
Luckily, you saw Steve and Bucky together.
They had been training and were now walking back to join the others for dinner.
You ran into them before they could get close.
They didn't say anything to you, they just stopped as you stopped in front of them.
"I need to talk to you" you pointed at both of them.
"About?" Steve asked.
"You" you pointed specifically at him. "You are not a good boyfriend."
"Excuse me?"
"It was not my fault that I got kidnapped! I was so fucking stupid for believing you! And I can't believe I didn't realise sooner! You are the problem, Steve. I have had it! I would never have had to choose if you didn't ask me out when you knew I liked your best friend. You took advantage of the fact that I couldn't remember him. Well too bad! Because I still love him and there is nothing you can say or do to change that! I don't know if I want to get married but I would consider it if he was the one waiting for me at the end of the aisle!"
You stopped yelling and subtly took a deep breath.
You stared at Steve, who's face was blankly staring back. It was hard to tell what he was thinking at this point.
You turned to face Bucky.
His face was infuriatingly the same as Steve's.
"And you!" you were yelling again. "How dare you tell me to choose Steve! It's my decision! And you better not fucking walk away from me again because I will follow you! Because I fucking love you!"
"Are you done?" Bucky asked.
"Yes. I think I made my point" you snapped.
Bucky stepped forward and slowly put his hands around your waist, his fingers interlocking behind your back. He pulled you closer to him.
"I fucking love you too" he said gently.
You were still pouting angrily when his lips met yours, and your anger suddenly washed away.
You felt butterflies in your stomach like you hadn't felt in a long time.
You reached your hands up to his shoulders and up behind his neck.
One hand held the back of his head, not wanting him to pull away.
Your lips were locked together for what felt like eternity, but it still felt like they parted too soon.
When he pulled back, you leaned forward to kiss him again, but he raised a metal finger to your lips.
"You're so cute when you're angry. Did you know that?" he smirked.
"Shut up" you smiled. 
You pushed his hand away and kissed him again.
Never wanting to let go.