The Letter

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        𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒮𝒾𝑒𝓇𝓇𝒶,

I know you don't want to read this. I know you don't want to hear from me at all, and that is totally acceptable given how I've left you.

But I need you to hear me out.

As you don't like to listen to me, at least give me enough time to read what I have to say. Not that I deserve.

I knew what he was doing to you when you were younger. And I couldn't do anything to stop it.

I know I should have. I know I should have called the cops, get him arrested and as far away from my poor babies as only possible.

But I couldn't.

You have to understand, he was who brought in the money. Drew might have had a job, but he barely got paid enough to pay for our rent.

I didn't want Cody and you to grow up homeless or having to starve. So I was ready to do whatever it took to make sure you two were fine.

I stuck around the wrong crowd, the rich ones. The ones that couldn't care less if they lost a little money for other services.

So I may or may not have somewhat sold myself to this man, to Sokolov. He promised to make sure you and Cody had a place to stay, food to eat from and would get a good education. He even provided us with enough money to cover medical bills if we ever had some.

He got me a job at a hospital close by. But it was never paid well enough to get rid of Sokolov.

That, however, doesn't excuse me allowing him to do god knows what he did with you behind closed doors.

It all started with minor interactions between him and I. He paid well, but he kept asking for more in return. He stopped by every other night, as you may remember. Hopefully you don't.

Anyway, he always demanded to see you. He called you his child and said he'd have rights to stick around his babygirl. But you weren't his. You aren't his, as you might know by now. Which, I do hope, is a relief to you.

If I let him closer to you than he'd already gotten, if I just caved and let him "be your father," I suppose we can both imagine how that would've ended.

I do have to say, by the time you turned nine, I knew he was growing impatient. He wanted to get to you. So badly, he was starting to show up daily. He called you all the gross names you could only imagine, ones I didn't want anyone to call my sweet little babygirl.

A grown man like him should have never talked about a nine-year-old the way he talked about you, Sierra. He wanted you. I hope you understand what I mean by that without me having to spell it out for you.

I couldn't let him have you. You were nine. A minor. Even if you weren't a minor, I would have never sold you to him. He's a cruel man, and it's bad enough I had to be involved with him, and I'm still stuck here. But at least you're out of it all.

In order to get him away from you, I made a deal.

The deal was; if I agreed on being his, if I agreed on "serving" him, he would leave you alone.

But for that I needed to disappear. I needed you and Cody to think I've died because it was less cruel than disappearing out of your lives with no further explanation. It was less cruel than having to tell my children that I will no longer live with them because I sold myself to a man so he wouldn't sexually assault my daughter any longer.

(Side note: Drew's hatred towards your was solely because I left for your. He wanted to give you away, but I couldn't give you to Sokolov. For so many reasons.)

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