The Storm

Chapter 31

Sierra

"Give me your hand," Atlas says, or more like commands, just the second I pull away from our hug. A hug I didn't know I needed more than ever. I hold out my hand, but he shakes his head. "Your left hand."

I switch my hands without thinking. He takes my left hand with care, holding it just by my fingers, enough to show off my wedding ring. We both look at the ring, then at each other.

"You're going to leave me, aren't you?" he asks, his voice shaking. I've never heard Atlas's voice break.

His eyes drop back down to my hand, then over to my stomach. He doesn't even wait for me to react before he looks away from me entirely, closing his eyes. He doesn't let go of my hand though.

"Atlas..." He shakes his head, not wanting me to speak but I do so anyway. "I am not going to leave you."

Let's be honest, I would be nothing without Atlas.

Despite what I tried telling myself when I found out I was pregnant with Allie, I wouldn't have made it through my pregnancy without him. I wouldn't have made it through the shit with my not-so-dead mother without him. I would have made it through the past couple of years without him.

He's been nothing but supportive. He's always been there, even if he was supposed to be busy. I know I am his number one priority. Work be damned whenever I need him. Or when our children need him.

So then he thought I stayed with him for a reason other than my love for him. I should have told him it's not true instead of run away. I should have stayed for him the same way he always stays for me.

Running away has been my saviour for as long as I can remember, but I can no longer do that. I'm married, not just since yesterday. I have to learn that talking about a problem solves more than running away from it.

"Look at me." I reach my free hand up to his jaw, gently turning his head.

His eyes open, and suddenly I wish they didn't. They're red. He's so close to crying, I just want to punch myself right in the face for letting it get this far.

Why do I always fuck up? Why can't I just once do the right goddamn thing?

"I love you, Atlas. Nothing could ever make me want to leave you." I'll just leave out the obvious parts like catching him cheating on me. I don't even have to think about that scenario because we all know it's never going to happen. "I'm—"

His arms wrap around me, holding so tightly against him, my breath gets stuck in my lungs for a second. "Don't say you're sorry."

I know he hates it when I do. But this here requires more than just an apology. "But I am sorry, Atlas."

He shakes his head. "No."

"Yes."

"Stop arguing with me, sweetheart."

Sighing, I say, "You have to learn to accept my apologies as much as I have to learn not to run away when things get rough."

"I am accepting your apologies, Sierra. I just don't want to hear them. I know you're sorry, I know you feel bad for what happened. But times get hard sometimes, you know? Life can't always be perfect and lack of mistakes. Mistakes are there to learn, and I don't want you to feel as though you can't make some by having to apologise."

Okay, but apologising is important nonetheless.

For just a couple of minutes, I let Atlas hold me. I let him put his own heart back together because that's what he does. All he never needs is for me to be there and let him hug me. And all that while he repeats the words "I love you" over and over again.