Hugging the Future (SAMYU AU FF)

Apologizing

Sam rounded his shoulders and slowly massaged his aching arm. He had been relying on one arm for too long, it had started to become another problem. The giant round thing carrying people round and round took off not five minutes ago but little Ah Yan already fell asleep, comfy against Yu's chest.

Yu saw the blinking lights as they ascend to the top for the third time in the carriage that had only the three of them and yawned for he had tire himself out for the day. He glanced at the man sitting opposite of him, surprised that the man was looking at him too.

"Sorry," Sam said to him. Crisp and clear, no sign of reluctance nor hesitations.

Sure Yu requested an apology earlier but he had not anticipated receiving it so early.

"I'm sorry for getting mad at you that time you came to my house."

"I'm sorry for pushing you yesterday."

"I'm sorry for splashing you, it really was an accident."

Sam's eyes fell on his daughter before darting back to the man. The man wasn't answering, probably because they had reached down and people had already started emptying the gondolas to make way for others.

To Yu's surprise, Sam gestured to go on another round when their door was opened and so Yu had to think fast of what to say.

"Let's just let Ah Yan sleep more," Sam said as they once again ascended. Yu simply nodded. He couldn't think. Well, he could but not of the matter at hand. His brain just doesn't work like that.

"I didn't tell you I have my daughter with me," Sam continued after a short silence. "because why does it matter?" Sam spoke emotionless but Yu knew that was just a façade.

"Does it matter?" Sam repeated.

Yu cleared his throat, "Well.."

"I just want to raise her and not put her in the spotlight. I just want to raise her and even that, I can't do. Why do people care so much if I have a kid? Why does it still matter that I was once a singer? Why can't I just be a father?"

It was probably the sullen moonlight, or was it the fake cheery lightings that screamed fire hazard around the gondola but Yu thought Sam's eyes bleared and his chin trembled. "S..Sam.."

"Does it seriously matter, Yu?" Sam asked again.

"Y.. Yes," Yu answered hesitantly before taking a big gulp and went ahead to say his thoughts.

"Have you heard of the importance of first impression?" Yu tilted his head back.

He then continued, "You didn't give me enough time to prepare. Do you know how far I had to run to get her that lollipop? I had to think what to get her, and after I bought all those candies, I had to choose the best one to give her. So yes, it matters that you tell me who you're bringing with you, Sam." Yu took a breath and squinted at Sam who had regained his composure.

"How about ours then?" Sam feigned a grin. "Do you remember you bawling on the street making everyone think I hit you, the first time we met? How's that for first impression."

"You're just validating me. Your first impression of me was bad so you don't like me but my first impression of you wasn't, then," Yu smiled wistfully. "Mine was one and a half year back and that's why I can't hate you."

（='∇｀=）

Men. As serious as their conversation goes in the Ferris wheel, the moment they stepped out, it was long forgotten, or maybe not. No one forgets but none would bring it back up. Both, because they had said too much to a person they barely knew. More than Sam, Yu regretted himself more. Saying what he said seemed like a defeat for him. I can't hate you. Doesn't that just mean he likes the man, that he's a fan? Would Sam take it as sign of weakness? He wouldn't know but he's curious.