Wings, Flings, and Demon Kings || COMPLETE

Chapter 1: Worse than Armageddon?

November 25, 2006 AD, 5:50 P.M.

Apartment

Why am I writing in here?

I wasn't planning on starting a diary.

I'd made myself a solemn vow, actually. No more writing my thoughts down where Archangel Ramiel might find them. Especially after what happened last time.

But then... today happened.

And if I don't get my thoughts on paper, I might explode.

I barely know where to begin. It sounds like the bad lead-in to a joke: an angel and a demon walk onto an elevator. Next thing you know, there'll be something about the Antichrist and the beginning of Armageddon, and the sad part is, that would almost—almost—be better than what happened.

For the record, I didn't mean to kiss him.

That is... I didn't not mean to kiss him, either. It wasn't like he grabbed me, applied superglue to his lips, and then applied it to my lips, and then stuck our lips together. It was definitely a 'consensual' kiss, as they say here on Earth.

A consensual kiss that went on FAR too long...

...

...I need a drink.

Not that kind of drink! What kind of angel do you think I am? No, I was obviously talking about an infusion of ambrosia mixed with holy water.

And I'm going to get some.

Going.

Right now.

Yes.

6:13 P.M.

Okay, I have a steaming cup of ambrosia tea next to me, my favorite CD of choir songs is playing, and I feel a little better. Enough—I think—to control my tendency to blather nonsensically into this dollar-store notebook.

Don't get me wrong, I still intend to blather.

But I shall do so rationally, with poise and grace, as is befitting of a proper, magnanimous angel.

6:16 P.M.

Fact #1: I only received my human body three days ago.

It's a good body. Not that I'm an expert on the matter, but it seems to do all the right things, like breathing and pooping and circulating blood.

One thing I'm especially impressed by is how it continues to breathe even when I'm not thinking about it. I was terrified I might kill myself by falling asleep and asphyxiating, until Archangel Ramiel reminded me about respiratory control centers and how God planned for everything and that He wouldn't just create a being that died the moment it fell asleep. Which makes sense, since otherwise humans would die from insomnia. I just can't get over how cool it is!

Fact #2: It's my third day on Earth.

My apartment is on New York's Upper East Side, and I'm LOVING it! I'm finally done with most of the paperwork. For the most part, my neighbors are delightful, although one misguided soul keeps leaving passive aggressive notes asking me to stop playing my choir music so late at night.

Fact #3: I have no mana.

For our first two weeks on Earth, as part of the 'acclimatization experience', HQ makes us fully human. They leave us with a phone to send messages and an emergency backup seal we can break if things go really wonky, but the expectation is that we should first try to figure things out on our own. This experience is supposed to be punishment, after all.