GODDESS OF FIRE

it begins to get interesting

alternative chapter title: Aphrodite Gets the Gossip

Zeus shoveled the rest of his ambrosia into his mouth and took a long sip of nectar. Ignoring the neatly folded napkin waiting patiently on the table, he wiped his messy fingers on his (brand-new) white tunic. 

Hera, appalled by the mess (but not surprised), pulled the stains out of the cloth and gathered them into a little stain-ball hovering over her hand. She tossed it into the hearth, and immediately spritzed her hand with a pound of hand sanitizer.

"Time for dessert!" Zeus announced, followed by a loud belch.

Hestia, who had been standing behind the table waiting for orders, nodded and hurried into the kitchen. 

Around the table, all twelve gods (plus bonuses) laid back in their chairs, all doing their different 'waiting things'. 

Athena, reading. 

Dionysus, drinking (surprise surprise). 

Hera, sitting quietly with her hands folded in her lap like the queen she was. 

Finally, after what seemed like hours to the impatient gods (but was probably around twenty seconds), Hestia came back into the dining room, holding a giant cake. She set it down in the middle of the table and retreated to the corner to await further orders.

Athena set down her book. 

"Hestia, what are you waiting for?" She demanded. "The cake won't cut itself."

"Yes, of course. Silly me, I should have-"

"Just cut the cake," Zeus said impatiently.

Hestia pulled out a knife from her apron and sliced the cake into twelve equal pieces (she would never forget the time that Poseidon's piece was a centimeter bigger than Zeus; they had almost exploded Mt Olympus).

Zeus devoured his slice in two seconds flat and burped loudly. Hera scooted her chair closer to Demeter and whispered something in her ear, eying Zeus like a dog who had just rolled in poop. She slid the smallest bite of cake onto her fork and lifted it to her mouth.

Demeter, not wanting to smell Zeus-burp, shifted towards Persephone, who, not wanting to get roped into one of her mother's rants about corn masa flour, scooted towards Hades, who was not too fond of Persephone's handmade perfume and scooted towards Poseidon, who hated his upstart younger brother and scooted towards Amphitrite, who was very shy and didn't want to offend her husband, so she stayed put despite his atrocious sushi breath.

Dionysus scooched away from Amphitrite for no good reason, other than the fact that he wanted to stay in the loop of the chair-scooting. Athena, who hated all of the gods, scooted backward, but instead of stopping the scoot-chain, she ended up bumping into Hestia, who was rushing to tend to the hearth. 

And no, she did not apologize. 

Hestia brushed off her arms and hurried to the hearth, unaware of the blood dripping down her thigh. 

Hera glanced at her to ask for another napkin, but immediately wished she hadn't. She covered her eyes with the crook of her arm and shrieked, being incredibly squeamish.

The rest of the gods laughed at her, and she lowered her arm slowly. Demeter took pity on her and tossed her napkin at Hestia to blot the blood. 

Zeus licked the last bit of frosting off of his plate and fell backward into his chair.

"Yes!" Hera leaped up and punched the air. "Food coma! I can do whatever I want..."

Demeter gave Hera a look and pulled her back into her chair.

Hera hung her head. "I want a divorce."

"I'm working on it." Eros appeared out of thin air, furrowed his brow, and flipped through a massive stack of paperwork. "With humans, it's easy. With gods, well, that's way more complex." He started to babble a bunch of divorce-lawyer things that no one understood.

"Better get him off to bed." Hera sighed and flicked her hand at the passed-out god, who dematerialized instantly.

The rest of the gods slowly trickled out of the room, leaving Hestia with the cleanup.

After a safe amount of time had passed and Hestia was sure the gods were all in bed, she turned towards the fire and flicked her wrist at it. The flames grew until they formed a shimmering rectangular screen. 

The screen started to scry something: a project she had been working on for a very long time. 

It showed a vision of a massive castle of fire sitting atop Mount Everest. Little ash-born servants hurried around, fixing this and that. 

Almost done, she thought. The structure was complete, so now the only thing left was to attach doors, light fixtures, her throne, and then all the small decorations that were really just touch-ups.

Footsteps thudded on the carpet, and Hestia swept her hand through the screen to destroy it.

Just in time. She turned around and found herself face-to-face with Zeus.

"Did you forget our after-dessert snack?" he grumbled.

"N-no, my lord. I was almost finished."

Zeus squinted over Hestia's shoulder at the hearth.

"I thought you were going to put that on night setting. It's awfully bright."

Hestia waved her hands, turning the hearth a deep midnight blue. She then conjured the bowls of after-dessert ambrosia soup and sent them skidding through the air down the hall.

"You will find yours waiting in your room," she said courteously.

Zeus padded out of the room, mumbling something about not enough food.

Once all of the gods were asleep (again), Hestia did a quick calculation for the amount of time she had before the gods would start demanding their late-night meal.

She figured that she had about an hour.

Hestia rushed out of the castle and flew thousands of miles away. She circled Mount Everest slowly and grinned as she saw the progress her ash servants had made. 

However, as she flew closer, the flaws became much more noticeable. The door was hanging on by one hinge and the firewalls (ba-dum-dum-ch) were sputtering out. Plus, there was no grandeur. Nothing to make it noticeable! Nothing to make people bow before her and say, "Please, Hestia, I beg for your mercy!".

Hestia sighed and waved her hand, making another fire-scrying-screen. Thankfully, all the gods were still in bed. 

Well, except for Aphrodite, but she was probably out buying whatever new makeup some human had come up with.

"You know what I need?" She said to no one in particular. "Those Cyclopes. They would be really helpful in building my palace. Also, I need a better mind. Why would I let Dionysus kick me out like that? I could have been worshipped like a real god."

"Yes, why." said a familiar voice from behind her. Hestia spun around to see Aphrodite in all her glory. "But what's done is done. And now I believe it's time for our midnight snack."

"Never breathe a word of this to any of the other gods." Hestia snarled through her teeth, brandishing a handful of flames at the love goddess' face.

"No can do!" Aphrodite said cheerfully. Then she turned and left. 

thank you for reading this part of the story! don't forget to check out the awesome KOTLC stories written by my besties MrSnuggles222 and KOTLCWATERGIRL01!