When she showed up at his door again that night, Cern cocked an eyebrow and said, "Another emergency?"
Dema blushed and apologized, but didn't offer an explanation. She still didn't want to tell him what had really happened. She was glad to see that he wasn't wearing the torc. That made it easier for her to resist the pull of the dream. Instead she got him to talk about his day, and they chatted pleasantly for a long while.
Then Cern got quiet. He just sat looking at her.
"What?" she said.
"You know what." His look began to smolder.
Dema felt her own heat begin to rise. But when he stood and began to reach for the torc, she said. "Not tonight, I think."
He looked at her with some surprise. "Why not? I know you want to."
She hesitated. "I, well, what's been going on these last mornings, I think I need to be more ready for that for a while. It would be better if I was at home."
"Do you want to tell me about that?"
"I'd better not. At least not right now."Cern nodded his acquiescence. But that did not prevent him from giving her a lingering kiss before she went out the door.
So Dema spent several restless nights in her own bed, struggling with herself over how to resolve her dilemma. It was her urgent need to be with Cern, to continue exploring their relationship, that made her hesitate to go back to him. If he found out about what was happening to her, he might feel forced to withdraw himself. She couldn't bring herself to take that chance.
Cern called her regularly, and when they talked she tried to assure him that she would come back to him soon. It was difficult, because all her excuses were manufactured. Her unwillingness to tell him what was really going on was apparent to him. And she knew it. He, of all people, could sense that clearly. It was impossible to really hide anything from him.
Finally, his voice sounding perplexed and troubled, almost angry, he said, "Well, can't you at least find time to come for dinner? You don't have to spend the night."
Dema could not refuse. Not when it was what she wanted more than anything herself. Not when their nights apart had produced no resolution. Not when it was only her own desire to keep them together that was keeping them apart.
So she went to him.
