As the Toxicity Begins

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Veronica took my hand in hers and exclaimed, "No, no, you're kidding!" as she looked at the ring. I have to admit that I'm genuinely astonished by myself because I was so determined to never fall in love with another person that it seemed impossible for me to date anyone.

And this? I not only fell in love with someone, but I also started dating someone I only texted online. I mean, I can't believe how far my attitude and I have progressed.

A year ago, I was cursing and telling myself how miserable I was simply because I had fallen in love, and now I'm sitting on my couch and staring at my ring finger.

Veronica asks after finally calming down from the excitement, "So have you told him yet?" "Regarding what?" Despite the fact that I am fully aware of what she is discussing, I question her.

Veronica, who had numerous frown lines floating across her forehead, retorted, "Don't act as if you don't know what I'm talking about." "Okay,I will tell him when the times right,Vero". Her ebony eyes were filled with absolute disbelief as she let out a loud sigh and turned to face me. "Aren't you even a little bit serious with him? You are,right? Therefore, you shouldn't keep him from knowing the truth" she remarked as  I turned around and pretended to do something.

"Yes, a truth that can destroy his life and destroy us. Since I am aware that I won't live forever, I shouldn't be in his life, yet Vero, this feels so nice! After a very long time, I finally feel so happy"  "I get that, but he's going to be disheartened as hell when he will learn about this, so better late than never, tell him before it gets worse." replied Veronica and stormed out of the room before I could even say anything.

He wouldn't be able to handle hearing the reality about my illness, thus I doubt I'll ever be able to do it. I haven't had joy in such a long time, and I wouldn't give it for anything. He is the most ideal person in the entire universe, and for the past eighteen years of my life, I have desired and prayed for someone just like him. Now that I have him, I find it hard to comprehend that I won't have him forever and that this lovely illusion will one day come to an end. What a disgusting, sick joke the universe played on me.

In the end, pain terrifies me more than dying. The only suffering I will be aware of if I don't wake up in the morning is the pain my sister and parents will experience. How will they react to the home's sudden emptiness? I recall when the same illness claimed my aunt, I was devastated for months. I had no idea what was meant by the terms "happy" or "sadness." I just felt incredibly numb. I want Eran to be happy for me, not sad for me, that God has finally decided to release me from this agonizing suffering.

So my parents will be returning home after their long business tour and I'm not really happy about this fact because it will limit my freedom. My family is very traditional, they don't let me out very often, so it was inevitable that Eran and I would develop a long-distance relationship as a result of our infrequent opportunities to interact. I would die if we had to spend the entire day communicating online and watching ourselves on video chat.

My mother is a bit normal regarding these things compared to my father. My dad is way more stricter than my mother. When my friends want to take me out or include me in any form of social function, my mother never lets me go, which is extremely upsetting and embarrassing. The fact that my friends go out and have fun every week while I sit at home and do nothing has always made me feel horrible.  I never talked about these with Eran,so I really have no idea how is he gonna react to it.

Erans POV

My buddies and I were spending the night at Ricky's today, and I have to admit that it wasn't the most enjoyable of days. He was now going through a minor issue with his girlfriend Jessica. Each one of our gang isn't the greatest Jessica fan. She just seems weird, but even so, I'm thankful to her because it was she who introduced me to Rose. Since Jessica is obviously his girlfriend and nobody wants to hear anything about their girlfriends, I don't really talk to Ricky about her.

Pretty sensitive topic.

Who, after being in a relationship, continues to meet with their ex? Even though Ricky made it apparent to her that he didn't enjoy their hangouts. This is so messed up. She ought to be the one making Ricky furious and angry over this. She, however, is the one who has kept Ricky up late at night sobbing, and I'm fairly sure that he will be the one to apologize first, without a doubt.

Jessica frequently expressed her irritation that Ricky liked to hang out with us. She thinks we are more important to him than she is. Yes, we are, and she has been causing problems over this which isn't necessarily a negative thing. We've known each other since we were kids, and she only recently arrived.

Ricky added, "I honestly don't know what to do with her, guys," as we all exchanged looks and pondered the same issue. We are genuinely unsure of how to handle her. Rose has been calling me repeatedly, and she can tell that I'm not answering. Although I love Rose, she occasionally really gets on my nerves. Why can't she just get a hint that I don't want to talk to her right now? This is really annoying.

This time, I hung up the phone in the hopes that she would get the message and stop bothering me. Ricky questioned, "Can't you simply put your phone down for a minute Eran?" with a scowl on his face. I responded, "I'm listening." Ricky stated, "We hadn't done the "thing," so I confronted her about the birth control pills I found in her handbag and why she had been carrying them around while the number of tablets is becoming smaller every day". Hunter shot his eyes towards me as soon as he said that.

He was obviously being cheated on, but we didn't want to tell him because he was already dealing with a lot of difficulties. Once more, my phone rang, and this time I truly let my rage get the best of me, saying "excuse me" and heading for the balcony. I answered the call by saying, "Hello." "why arent you answering my calls" said Rose. "When you saw that I wasn't picking up ,clearly I was busy?" was my response. She became somewhat quiet. "I wanted to tell you something important, Eran, but at least you could text and say you were busy or something" "Since we frequently text, it doesn't matter what you wanted to say to me. Why not wait till another time to mention such things?" I answered as she hung up

God..


To be continued..

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