IV: she was art

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A/N: listen to this song while reading 🙂

A/N: listen to this song while reading 🙂

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                             .⋆。⋆☂˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆.

outside of jennie's apartment, one could hear birds singing, cars honking, and people chatting. the noises resonated through the dark, lonely corridors.

the whole world was awake, and jennie didn't want to be a part of it.

what else is there to do?

she lacked ambition and desire. she's uninspired and exhausted. and the only person she'd ever let in, the one she relied on to make things right, wasn't there.. not anymore.

jennie laid still in the dark. emptiness had found a new home, deep within her heart. and it made it apparent that it isn't going away anytime soon.

she resented roseanne for leaving, but she hated herself even more for pushing her away, for letting her go without a fight.

all because she couldn't accept herself. the parts that aren't beautiful. she couldn't see even when roseanne was there to remind her of her worth.

she was fucking ordinary. she was the same as everyone else.

but it was roseanne's love that defined her. because with her around, jennie felt invincible. no mountain was endless, no stars was distant.

the possibilities of life was limitless.

there were times when she felt scared, powerless but then roseanne would remind her of the things she was capable of.

she was jennie's safety net.
and without her now, she fell straight to the ground.
shattered into pieces with no one to pick her up.

she could paint a thousand paintings expressing how she felt on the inside, but she couldn't even get out of bed, much alone pick up the phone to call roseanne.

she was used to being alone even before roseanne. she enjoyed the quiet, enjoyed every instant of observing and feeling everything around her, enjoyed the darkness in her room as she searched for her brushes. but as she listened to the sounds of life outside, she realized.. this was the first time she ever truly felt alone.

"baby, what's wrong? what's bothering you? i want to know. i may not understand or relate to what you're feeling, but i'm here to listen."

roseanne's calming voice would come to mind. jennie would rest her head on the blonde's lap, her eyes closed, as roseanne ran her fingers through her hair.

it was the only thing she looked forward to after a long, exhausting day.

she badly needed it now more than ever.

"there are a shitload of talented people out there, and i don't think i can keep up. i don't want to feel like this.. i need you," jennie found herself saying to a vivid image of roseanne in her head.

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