Captain America: Love in a Time of Loss

Denial

Steve had been filled with apprehension when he'd first entered the large group room on Empire State University's campus. Captain America, the supposed hero, was about to enter a room where grieving people were meeting to discuss their pain. A pain that he and his team hadn't been able to keep from happening. He stood on the threshold, ball cap hiding his features, fists shoved into his jacket, and he looked at the room. A circle of chairs was arranged in the center and there was a table off to the side that was covered in plates of various snacks and beverages. Adults of differing ages and backgrounds stood around in various little groups, socializing as they waited for group to begin. Steve watched them and felt incredibly conscious of how they would perceive him once they discovered who he was. And they would. He had no illusions about that. He knew that a ball cap and civilian clothes wouldn't hide who he was from them.

What are they going to do when they see who you are, Rogers?

His nerve lost, Steve promptly turned around to leave. It was a bad idea, one he hadn't thought through. But as he turned, he collided with an older woman, causing her to drop the grocery sack she was carrying, spilling various fruits on the floor.

"Sorry, ma'am," he uttered as his good manners extinguished his sudden urge to walk away and he knelt to pick up the apples and oranges as they rebelliously rolled away.

"It's alright," the woman said as she knelt to help. When the all of fruit had been placed back in the bag, she smiled up at him and Steve read the kindness in her face. "I'm Dorothy," she said as she reached a hand out.

"I'm..."

"Steve Rogers," she said with a knowing smile. "I know. My grandson has all of your action figures." She paused and shut her eyes as emotion swept over her. "I mean...he had. He's...he's gone now."

Steve lowered his head. "I was just leaving," he said. "I'm sorry for the accident and for...interrupting. And everything else."

Dorothy scowled and reached out for his arm. "Please don't go, Steve," she said in a voice that sounded like home cooking and love.

Steve smiled. "I should. I don't...I don't need to be here."

Dorothy clicked her tongue. "But I think you do, Steve. You think just because you're a hero you don't need a little help sometimes?"

"No," Steve admitted. "I need help. A lot of help. But I don't think I should be here because..."

"Because you feel responsible for what happened?" Dorothy finished for him.

Steve hung his head, unable to think of anything to say to that.

"You listen to me, Steve," Dorothy said in a soft voice that managed to sound firm but gentle all at once. "I saw the drone footage, same as anyone else. I saw you fight tooth and nail to save the world." She paused and touched her cheek to catch the tear. "I saw you...hold that bastard's hand back. I'll never forget the look on your face as you stared up at him. So defiant. So...powerful. So selfless. But that's you, isn't it?"

"I don't know...I don't know who I am anymore."

"Sure you do. And if you don't know, honey, I'll remind you. You're Steven Grant Rogers. Captain America. The frail boy who became a super soldier. And stood up to the bullies of the world. Laid his life down for freedom. Everyone knows about the sacrifices you've made."

Steve felt emotion welling within him. He didn't even know this woman personally and her words were moving him.

"You're strong. You're fast. And you can fight. But none of that can equal what's in here," Dorothy said as she touched Steve's chest. "You have a good heart, son. Always have. But it can break like anyone else's. And I know it's broken now. So, please, join my group. We'd love to have you."