HEART THIEF || JUJUTSU KAISEN

conquering the beast.

"I was never the type of kid who fawned over the main characters of stories. Growing up, I really liked my anti-heros. Scar, Uchiha Sasuke, the bad heroes, the ones who thought they were doing the right thing but never realized they were actually fucked in the head and the consequences of their actions weren't worth the results they sought. I don't have heroic goals or personality traits, hell, I would leave people to die if it meant I'd be able to escape a situation unscathed. But at the same time, it wasn't something I wanted or liked, it was just instinct at that point. 

Cursing Akua was the last thing I wanted, she was my friend and she was important to me, but I can't be the hero she aspired to be. I tried to think of a way to keep the situation controlled, I even went as far as stealing Gojo's eyes so that I might be able to track down the next victim and get to them before she did. But, at the end of the day, it's either let that person wander in and die, or risk more people dying as a result. That's just how things have been, sacrifice one to save the many, and put the blame on the one guy who conveniently happens to be responsible for the curse. Not that I care, I'm only doing all of this because I have a guilty conscience and I don't wanna end up being one of those victims.

I guess that makes me an anti-hero?

I don't believe that everyone is equal, I weigh people's lives by how much value they have, but I'll always want to protect those who are important. That makes me sound like scum, but truly the only worthless people I've met are serial killers and thieves who serve no purpose in this world other than to bring harm. Those were lives I was more than willing to shove into Akua's domain in place of an innocent civilian.

But, it doesn't matter if the only people you've killed are those who deserved it, you'll still be called a murderer at the end of the day, but I know that at least I'm someone who recognized that it was something that had to be done. There is nothing I hate more than someone getting killed because of another guy's actions."

Naoko knelt in the center of the training room, his hands resting in his lap. As usual, he met with Yaga upon waking up and the two of them would wordlessly head towards the training room. The principal would plop down the repaired hippo, remind him of his task, and then leave. However, Naoko didn't hear the lock turn this time, nor did he pick up the soft tremors of him leaving.

The cursed doll circled him warily, but he lifted not a finger to defend or attack. Naoko simply moved to the center of the room, sat down, and began to talk.

Aihara sat with him for hours as he shamelessly cried everything out and then collapsed from exhaustion. He didn't care about his puffy red eyes or his dry throat when he woke up and walked past curious onlookers. He was tired of acting like he was incapable of feeling emotional pain. He wasn't a robot, and he'd been through far too much to feel conscious of his tears. What sane person wouldn't cry?

Besides, it was something he needed. When your mom tells you to clean your closet, the first thing you do is clear everything out before beginning to organize. All that pent up turmoil needed to go somewhere before being filtered.

He went looking for Taichi because that curse was a living breathing perfumed piece of the past he'd refused to come to terms with until last night.

"I am the shittiest person I know. My thoughts are always contradicting my actions, I never know what the hell I want, but one thing's for sure is that whatever's happened, happened. Iekami got into my head because I wasn't able to stop thinking about the blood on my hands. He used it to manipulate me and gaslight me into thinking I'm solely responsible for all those people when I'm not. I wasn't able to realize that I'm not living in that kind of environment anymore and that's what makes me weak."

Yaga knew he was strong, he knew that Naoko had incredible potential, but he was his own worst enemy. His mind was weak, he was constantly at war with himself, and the first step to correcting that was acknowledging where he stood.